Resident Alien
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on SyFyResident Alien Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
Spring. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, the sun warms the earth. Somewhere; not here. It's 30 degrees out, it snowed nine feet last winter, and four frozen sodas just exploded in my truck. Welcome to Patience, Colorado.
Harry
Sheriff: I'm Sheriff Mike Thompson. Everybody calls me Big Black.
Harry: Because of your truck.
Sheriff: Because of my... [chuckles] Oh, you funny, huh? Funny.
To say my species is more advanced than humans would be a massive understatement. If the universe had a scale for intelligence, humans would land right below lizards.
Harry
Ben: Thanks for getting him, Mike.
Sheriff: I told you to call me Big Black.
Ben: Yeah, I'm, I'm not comfortable with that.
Harry: This. Is. Awesome!
Asta: What? What's awesome?
Harry: A good mystery. Figuring out what happened. Like Law & Order. Kung kung! That was fun.
Asta: Fun?
Harry: Yeah. I know who killed him.
Ben: Who?
Harry: He did. The angle of the wounds. The way the blood is on his hand. He murdered himself.
Sheriff: And why the hell would he do that?
Harry: I don't know. I wasn't here. [walks away]
Sheriff: Aight, look. That's one creepy son of a bitch, right? That ain't just me, right? Ya'll see that, right?
Ben: Hey, please don't tell me that you're leaving.
Harry: OK. I won't.
Ben: Wh, um, well, but we, we still need your help.
Harry: I was asked to come look at a dead body. I did that. Do you have more dead bodies?
Ben: No.
Harry: Then. I have to go.
Asta: You OK to drive home? Or you gonna daaance home?
Harry: That would be fun. But impractical.
Whiskey. Headache. Nausea. Severe dehydration. Alcohol must not affect humans the way it does us. If it did, they obviously would never drink it.
Harry
[searching his phone] Douche. Bag. A small syringe for douching the "vageena." Images. [shakes his head] WHAT THE HELL?? [searching again] Taint. [tosses the phone across the cab in shock]
Harry
Asta: I've always been an outsider. Maybe that's why I understand you.
Harry: What makes you think I'm an outsider?
Asta: Because wherever you learned to do that stuff back there, it wasn't around here. You're just different. I know what that feels like. Sometimes just feeling human is alien to me.
Harry: Yeah, me too.
