Sahar: Is your brain in your butt?
Max: I hope not.

Kate: Really sorry about that.
D'Arcy: Oh, don't worry. I've been peed on before.
Kate: I have, too. I kinda like it.
D'Arcy: I was talking about a frog I picked up when I was a kid.
Kate: Yeah, frogs. Me, too.

Harry: Do not go down there. The floor's cracked, and if you go down there, you'll break your mama's back.
Mike: What'd he say about my mama?

Mike: You sure? I'll come down and help.
Harry: No! I want to carry it myself. The ice feels good on my nipples.

Harry: I do not like having people in my house uninvited.
Asta: Well, know you know how earth felt when you got here.

You are all trespassing and should be in prison.


I do not understand why humans celebrate their births. Everyone who is alive has been born; it is not special. A birthday party is just a participation trophy.

Harry [internal]

Harry: Alien babies have a big appetite for high-calorie food.
Asta: Uh-huh.
Harry: There's nothing more junky than a human. We are in danger.

Today is all about celebrating the man that I murdered and threw in the frozen lake. Ice seems appropriate.

Harry [internal]

Kate: Are they going to do anything about that sulfur smell? I'm gonna barf.
Ben: I don't smell anything. [chuckles] Hey, remember when you were pregnant and you had that sense of smell like a superhero? [chuckles] Hope you're not pregnant! Could you imagine?

I wasn't invited. I'm just hungry.


Ben: Hey! Dr. V. Just thought I'd say hi. WOW. Great workspace. You, uh, you build birdhouses down here? You, uh, tinker? You like to tinker?
Harry: Yes. Sometimes it makes me shiver because of the warm urine leaving my body.

Resident Alien Quotes

Sheriff: I'm Sheriff Mike Thompson. Everybody calls me Big Black.
Harry: Because of your truck.
Sheriff: Because of my... [chuckles] Oh, you funny, huh? Funny.

Spring. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, the sun warms the earth. Somewhere; not here. It's 30 degrees out, it snowed nine feet last winter, and four frozen sodas just exploded in my truck. Welcome to Patience, Colorado.