Riverdale
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on The CWRiverdale Quotes
Hermione: “Hiram” sounds nice. Strong, unique. But “Lott”? I think you can do better. How about something statelier? Like, “Lodge”?
Hiram: Hiram Lodge. It’s not half bad.
Hiram: Hey, Hermione!
Hermione: You can ask me out every day, Jaime, but my answer will always be the same. No.
Hiram: Come on, why not?
Hermione: My mother sorta forbids it. She said she doesn’t want me to date the son of a man who shines shoes for a living.
It’s taken me years to find you, but my luck finally turned. Do you remember when we first met? I said I wanted to be feared like you. You tell me. Vito, at this very moment, you afraid of me?
Hiram
Alice: He seems so calm.
Hermione: It’s shock, I think. He hasn’t said much since it happened.
Alice: Such a tragedy.
Penelope: I suppose, but you know what they say about playing with fire.
Hermione: What are you saying, Penelope?
Penelope: I’m just pointing out one day he can’t rub two nickels together and the next he’s driving a fancy sports car and taking you out on the town. We all know the truth: your boyfriend is a gangster. I mean, what did Jaime think when he started working with criminals?
Hermione: His name is Hiram!
From where I’m at, if I could go back, just to spend a few more years shining shoes with my dad. I’d do that in a heartbeat.
Hiram
Cheryl: What are you so happy about?
Penelope: Life, Cheryl. Everlasting life.
Governor Dooley: Where’s the Playdium?
Hiram: That doesn’t really matter as far as you’re concerned because I’m not sharing. Not now, not ever. I’ve moved heaven and earth to get here; I’ve dedicated years of my life to this cause, you have no idea.
Veronica: So, we’re still feeling good about our decision? To hold off until my divorce is final.
Archie: Yeah, but I am torn.
Veronica: Well then, I better work on making this divorce happen as fast as humanely possible.
Jessica: And maybe don’t leave people alone when they’re tripping on maple mushrooms?
Tabitha: I assumed he’d be safe in the handcuffs!
Betty: Well, another lesson: maybe don’t give psychedelic shrooms in a delicate state?
Jessica: Yeah? How about don’t betray your boyfriend the way you did?! Getting with his best friend, that’s some Shakespearean-level treachery.
Betty: Okay, yeah, clearly in the stories Jughead has been telling, he’s been cast as the blameless victim here. But, Jughead is not so innocent.
Nana Rose: The curse! The curse of our ancestors demands that all living Blossoms must die! Unless…
Cheryl: Unless?
Nana Rose: We sacrifice the interloper!
[Awkward silence]
Minerva: Oh hell no!
Cheryl: No, Min Min!
[Minerva runs out of the house]
Charles: Chic and I would like to be married, with our family present!
Betty: How? You don’t even have a minister.
Alice: Umm … about that, Betty. Charles had me get ordained online so I could marry them in prison.
Charles: But this is so much better! Home, sweet, home.
Veronica: I always wondered. You didn’t crash on purpose, did you?
Chad: Why would you think that?! We almost died…
Veronica: Because then we’d be together forever. In a different way.
