Favorite Royal Pains Quotes
Jill: I don't want to be a downer, but they're not going to let us in there.
Divya: Why not?
Jill: Because we are dressed like mothers.
There are seven billion people in this world. Half of them are men. Statistically speaking, dating should not be this hard, Hank.
Divya
(Katie earlier referred to Hank as "M.S.G.")
Hank: What's an M.S.G.?
Evan: Medical super god.
Hank: Oh, alright.
Evan: Miniature sex gimp. Mumbling snow gerbil.
(Much later, Evan's still guessing what it means.)
Evan: Macho surfing guru, right? No? Mucus spewing growth.
(Still, much later...)
Evan: Medieval slut gatherer. Man seeking guacamole. Manatee...
You know who else loves you--- The Lawsons? Why? Because you're family.
Eddie R.
Don't turn in your Manolo's just yet!
Hank
They just asked questions that I have no answers to.
Hank
(about naming his boat) What do you think about Fairway to Evan?
Evan
Tucker: Double fisting wine bottles?
Oliver: Oh C'Mon stop being such a b*tch.
Hank is on drugs. We're gonna help him.
Eddie R.
I respected your feelings and you respect mine. I can't be near you without...
Adam
What do you mean lower case? Who apologizes in lower case?
Evan
Evan: So today, we are gonna meet ten women. They're gonna ask us what we do for a living. We're gonna tell them and we're gonna be so charming about it that at least one of them is gonna be interested in your services.
Hank: And the other nine?
Evan: They'll be interested in mine.
