Scorpion
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSScorpion Quotes
Happy: I don't want to junk up my apartment.
Toby: It's no longer your apartment. It is our home. We have the extra bedroom.
Happy: My motorcycle room? I'm not losing my bikes to your yard sale.
Cabe: The Alderman's seat is yours, if you want it.
Sly: Yeah, I'm not going to take it.
Cabe: Why the hell not?
Sly: Because you want me to, and I don't listen to stupid people.
Cabe: Excuse me?!
Happy: You might want to say that kind of stuff from a distance, Sly.
Sly: No, I'm saying it to his face. Cabe, you are stupid. Allie is great. You like her, and she likes you, but you won't be with her just to try to protect me, and what she did doesn't even bother me anymore. That's stupid.
Cabe: So you'd give up being Alderman just to teach me a lesson?
Sly: I'm offering you a trade - I'll take the oath of office if you take Allie to dinner.
Cabe: You've turned into a hell of a negotiator.
Paige: You just brokered a peace treaty like a real statesman.
Sly: I almost threw up twice.
Paige: Let's keep that between us.
I am a germaphobe. I would not put my hand in something if it was contaminated.
Sly
Sly: Oh! I dropped my contact!
Toby: Sylvester, you wear glasses.
Sly: One - I'm not a good liar. Two - the last thing the world needs is more germs.
This is crazier than our normal crazy.
Paige
Toby: Why does Super Fun Guy have a helicopter? He can fly.
Sly: It's for when he gets tired.
Paige: Walter, weddings are about love and magic and hope.
Walter: Well, I'd love to hope that they buck the trend, but the best hope is preparation, and magic is nonsense.
Walter: Now according to my research, your marriage only has a 47% chance of succeeding.
Paige: Are you kidding me?
Walter: No, the divorce rate is 53%. It's simple math.
I have used geometry to place tables for optimal traffic flow to get between the buffet, the dance floor, and the bathrooms.
Sly
Sly: You came.
Cabe: Sure did, kid. I couldn't let my friend go into battle without me.
Walter: Wedding partners in crime?
Paige: Deal. It might require a few late nights and some weekends.
Walter: Whatever it takes. I do not need Happy Quinn mad at me.
