Walter: Is that a centipede on your shirt? That's what you went with?
Sly: Centipedes are agile and fierce, like us. You could say we are human centipedes.
Paige: I told you not to use that term. You didn't watch the movie, did you?
Sly: It was in the horror section!

Sly: I quit. I can't work for you anymore.
Paige: Me neither.

Paige: For it what it's worth, Walter, it's not your fault. When I met you, emotionally you were nine. I got you to 15, 16, but I think that's as far as you can go. I don't blame you.
Sly: Well, I do. You said there's nothing going on between you two, but you made her fall in love with you.
Walter: How did I make her do anything?
Sly: You invited her to work with us. You take her out. You tell her you dream about kissing her. You were seducing her all along. I was the one who was in love with her, and now you ruin it.
Florence: Sylvester.
Sly: You know how hard its been to even consider dating anyone since Megan died?
Walter: Don't bring up my sister. If you were a real man instead of a comic book baby boy, you would have asked Flo out a long time ago. You are using my sister as a crutch.

Paige: I worked so hard at this experiment, Walter. I really did, but it is over.
Walter: You are being ridiculous. I have no feelings for Florence, and she has none for me. Isn't that right, Florence? Tell her.
Florence: It would seem that over the past few months that I have developed feelings for you.

Truth be told, I am completely exhausted trying to convince myself that you satisfy me! For once, I would like to walk on the beach with you without a marine biology lecture or go to dinner with you without a dissertation on the inefficiencies of putting parsley on the freaking plate or to hang out with my friends without you looking absolutely miserable. There is a part of you that is attracted to Florence in a way that you could never be attracted to me.


You've been having a cranial affair with Florence for months.


Happy: When I was 3, I wished every day for a family to adopt me, to make me theirs, so they could be mine, but that never happened. No one wanted me. Right now there is a kid somewhere, wishing for a family. They could be ours. We could be theirs. I want to make our dream come true by making a kid's dream come true. You cool with that?
Toby: All my years here, all the thoughts and theories and plans that we have devised in this garage, that is the best idea I've ever heard.

Hey Hap? Please no more driving around minefields for awhile.


Walter: I have this under control. Nothing is going to blow up.
[Mine blows up]
Happy: You were saying?

If things go bad, I don't want there to be anything between us, and I know you're keeping something from me. I don't care what it is, I love you! When you get out of here, and you will get out of here, please tell me, tell me what's going on. Whatever it is, we're going to be okay.


Happy: You shift this thing and the window breaks any more, the mine's pressure plate releases.
Cabe: And the mine detonates, and shrapnel hits the gas tank.
Sly: Which will cause another explosion.
Paige: And we all blow up.
Alex: I don't like being a part of Team Scorpion anymore!

Happy: I heard you at the fuel pump, carefully choosing your words, so you're not technically lying to Paige.
Walter: I'm not comfortable with how this is playing out either. Paige's EQ reader picks up everything, and I don't want to mislead her, but now is not the time nor the place for this discussion. We're literally in the middle of a minefield!
Happy: Not nearly as big of a minefield you've created for yourself, dumbass!

Scorpion Quotes

Sly: I could have ingested a toxin!
Ralph: Why don't you ingest an ice tea and calm down?

Toby: Low pair's a bad hand.
Happy: I'm about to smack a bad hand into your low pair.