Scrubs Season 3 Episode 18: "His Story II" Quotes
Dr. Miller: You try and paint Dr. Kelso as this jackass who turns on people who don't do his bidding, when you were ready to write me off just for having lunch. So honestly? How are you any different?
Dr. Cox: I'm taller than he is?
Dr. Miller: Why are you smiling?
Dr. Cox: Oh, I don't know, I guess I'm just glad you wound up in my camp.
Dr. Miller: Yeah, I'm an adult, I don't actually go to camp. Listen, if Dr. Kelso had asked me to go somewhere that I thought was actually good for my career, I'd be gone so fast you'd be left here staring at an imaginary woman's chest while she was trying to make a point.
Dr. Cox: I'm-I'm sorry, you're right, it's my fault. That dress just screams "respect me as a doctor." Heh.
Carla: I thought you might want to talk to Bryan before you went home.
Turk: How'd you know?
Carla: Who you talkin' to?
Janitor: Break's over, Binky.
J.D.: The show must go on.
Elliot: J.D., what are you doing?
J.D.: Oh, just breaking some bad news... circus style.
J.D.: Okay, kids, I've never made balloon animals before, but raise your hand if you like your eels!
Janitor: You're a horrible clown.
J.D.: Save it for the post-show, Lurch.
So what? Publicity is good for the hospital. Plus, pictures of us together lend credence to the rumors that you and I are having an affair... I'm joking! There are no rumors.Dr. Kelso
Dr. Mickhead passes, appraising Dr. Miller and raising his eyebrows at Dr. Kelso who nods
Turk: Heeeey! Bry-Bry! What's the happie-haps!
Bryan: My hand is feeling really weird.
Turk: Ummm, about that...
Turk's Narration: "I made a mistake"! Just say it! I made a mistake!
Turk: I'm not really too sure on the specifics, but uh... apparently there were some complications.
Turk's Narration: Ah, ya big chicken!
Turk's Narration: Man, the way Dr. Miller stares makes me all itchy. What can I say to let her know I'm in control?
Turk: Have you ever slept with a black man?
Dr. Miller: Just finish the procedure please.
Turk's Narration: That's a yes! And now her mind will drift back to that wonderful day. Wait for it... And there it is.
Turk: Dr. Miller, please, feel free to drift off. Although there is a lot of bleeding.
J.D.: Dr. Reid couldn't be here today, children, so I'm here in her place.
Kid: Why're your pants so tight? Clowns have baggy pants!
J.D.: Well, Brad, I'm the type of clown that likes to wear tight pants.
Kid: But the other clown has baggy pants!
J.D.: What other clown?
Janitor: Hello, old friend.
Dr. Kelso: Wow! Perry, people usually don't stop caring about what you have to say 'til after they've been here a few months! Oh, no he didn't!... That's the correct use of that phrase, right?
Dr. Miller: I don't know, sir.
J.D.: Look, Elliot, I don't want to jinx this, but, how did that just happen?
Elliot: You were a clown for me. You were there when I needed you without me even having to ask.
The door opens and Sean appears
Elliot: Oh, my God! When did you get back from New Zealand?
Sean: Something in your voice told me that you needed me. So I just...I decided to show up, even though you didn't even ask.
Elliot: Ohhh, Sean...