Scrubs Season 3 Episode 18: "His Story II" Quotes
Dr. Miller: Has anyone seen Dr. Kelso? We're supposed to leave for that luncheon.
Dr. Cox: Oh, that's strange. Because I remember having a conversation with you about this very subject - never do anything with him, pure evil - ringing any bells?
Dr. Miller: Just the one in my head that goes off when I'm incredibly bored.
Carla: Okay, okay, okay. So how far over the Creek did you make it?
J.D.: I don't know the exact distance in terms of feet and inches, but in laymen's terms, I would have to say... about halfway.
Bryan: I could never get a girl like that.
Turk: Why?
Bryan: Well, girls don't usually go for the piano-playing power geek.
Turk: Nurse Espinosa, would you mind getting me some sugar, stat.
Carla: Why, yes, Doctor.
They share a long kiss.
Carla: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Bryan: Wow! This hospital rocks! Did you two just meet?
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Miller! I am attending a hospital administrator's luncheon this afternoon. I would love for you to join me.
Dr. Cox: Not so fast, there, Bob. You forgot to affix the warning label to your forehead. You know, the one that reads "Exposure to Bob Kelso can be hazardous to your health" thus affording the reader a fighting chance to escape the waste and contamination that is... Bob Kelso.
Dr. Kelso: Gosh, darn it, Perry, you are entertaining. You know, like Howie Mandel or a monkey in a funny hat.
Elliot: What are you doing here? I thought you had like two days off?
J.D.: Had to pick up a mouth guard from oral surgery. Some of the kids at the park said I couldn't jump Jones Creek on my bicycle; so now I gotta give 'em the 4-1-1 on my mad daredevilin' skills!
Elliot: Meanwhile, back in adult world... I was just given twelve new admits and now there's no way that I can be a clown for the kids today!
Turk: You didn't mind that cocky stuff, did ya?
Bryan: Noooo. I love "Bry-Bry". Never had a nickname before.
Turk: Well, lemme tell you something - there's plenty more where that came from, Killer B!
Turk's Narration: What now, you mean witch?
Dr. Miller: I'm sorry, but if you act like a cartoon character in front of one of our patients again, I'm gonna spend the next ten years introducing you as the guy who sponges off my forehead. Okay, we're done. Bryan! Dr. Turk is gonna take you back to your room.
Dr. Cox: That was... that was glorious.
Dr. Miller: Okay.
Damn, Elliot's got a nice ass for a white chick! Stop it! Just 'cause you're panicked about getting married doesn't mean you have to reduce every woman to her physical attributes... Oh, great, my new scary boss and her amazing chest, butt, feet... I love feet.
Turk's Narration
I'm sorry... It's just I miss talking to you... I miss seeing you... I even miss that weird way you sleep with your eyes open.
Elliot
Turk: Thanks for driving me to work, man.
J.D.: You kidding? I wanted to see the mailing of the invites! Once you drop those suckers in, there's no turning back! I'm just mad I forgot my camera... Or did I?
J.D.: Dude, my tongue is totally dry. How many more of these wedding invites do I have to lick?
Turk: Fine. Don't lick 'em.
J.D.'s Narration: Come on, don't get mad at Turk. What's really bugging me is that, thanks to Dr. Cox, I've got nothing to do... nothing to talk about... no stories to tell.
Turk's Narration: From the moment I woke up this morning, I have been freaking out about getting married. Luckily, Carla's being cool.
Carla: Okay, this is your last chance to uninvite that slut you went out with in high school.
Turk: She's married to my brother!
Carla: Isn't that convenient.
