J.D.: Mmmm! Orange Goo Goo!
Laverne: Ain't nothing here for you, mooch!

Carla: What is wrong with you? I can't believe you're looking at that guy's cleavage while Suzy Big-Rack over there is sitting there busting out of her niece's tank top.
Turk: How the hell did I miss that?
Carla: Damn, you're whipped.

Lookit, it's just that aortic dissections are a doctor's worst nightmare. If you don't catch 'em early, there's about a ninety percent mortality rate. I mean, honestly, unless your patient was lucky enough to trip and fall into a CAT-scan machine, he wasn't gonna have a happy ending.

Dr. Cox

Turk: Did you bring my lucky 'do-rag?
Carla: Why don't you wear the fluffy puppies 'do-rag that I got you for Lent?
Turk: Baby, I hate to tell you this, but the fluffy puppies? They killed like three people - they banned from the O.R.

J.D.: Randall?!
Randall: Just got the job, brah.
J.D.'s Narration: So that's why he's been back in my dreams...

J.D.: Hey, you find your pink doggie yet?
Elliot: Nope. But I had the pleasure of meeting Helen, the laundry room lady.
J.D.: Oh, I think I know her! Does she have blonde hair?
Elliot: No.
J.D.: Brown hair?
Elliot: Y-nuh-uh.
J.D.: No hair!
Elliot: That's the one.
J.D.: Yeah, that's from the dryers.

J.D.: Sounds to me like a G.I. bleed.
Dr. Cox: Sounds to me like angina. Look, Newbie, if you leave this hospital knowing only one thing - and, God save me, it seems like there's a pretty good chance that just might happen - let that one thing be this: that medicine is a collaborative effort. And that means that your opinion is just as important as mine. So, let's see if you got the gobstoppers to take the lead.

Dr. Kelso: Nurse Espinosa, your shift ended nine minutes ago. How is it that your time card isn't punched out?
Carla: Well, sir, I-
Turk: Dr. Kelso, how is it that you had an ambulance take you to your dinner reservation last night just so you wouldn't lose it?
Dr. Kelso: How do you know that?
Turk: Because I'm the "homeboy" you screamed at to get my "ghettomobile" off the road.

Carla: Turk, I just got off of a 12-hour shift. I'm starving and I have yet to take a single bathroom break - which, by the way, is why I'm dancing a little - and you want me to run home, search through your nasties, and bring back your lucky 'do-rag?
Turk: And if you could be back in twenty minutes that'd be great.

You know, my head's probably going to melt when I say this but Kelso's idea wasn't half bad. Letting you run this place for a day would be a great educational experience. And, come on, let's face facts - the training bra's got to come off eventually.

Dr. Cox

J.D.: Uh, Dr. Kelso? That's my pen.
Dr. Kelso tosses the pen and J.D. misses it
Dr. Cox: Nice grab.
J.D.: Well, I'm a lefty.

Dr. Cox: Hey, fellas. What'd I miss?
J.D.'s Narration: And here he is!
Dr. Cox: Goodness gracious. Suddenly I'm getting the most intense headache. Lemme see if this relieves the pain.
He grabs J.D. and puts him between himself and Dr. Kelso.
Dr. Cox: Better. (pushes J.D. away) Worse. (pulls J.D. in) Better. (pushes J.D. away) Worse. I could do this all day!
Dr. Kelso: You know, Perry, since Dr. Dorian was on time and you were busy in the break room coming up with that hilarious "better-worse" bit, maybe you should answer to him all day.

Scrubs Season 3 Episode 16 Quotes

Custodian: Heeeeyyy! Get outta here.
Janitor: It's all right, Butchie, she's with me.

Look, Dr. Cox, I know my opinion doesn't mean anything and I'm always wrong and apparently useless - which deep down you know isn't true because... shoot, I forgot your coffee.