Scrubs Season 3 Episode 12: "My Catalyst" Quotes
J.D.'s Narration: Everyone here thinks they know me inside and out.
Female Staffer: You look like you could use some help.
J.D.: Nope.
J.D.'s Narration: Even random people.
Male Staffer: You need help, Dr. Dorian?
J.D.: No thanks, Dr... whatever your name is.
J.D.'s Narration: They won't leave me alone.
Doctor: Free help, here.
J.D.: Piss off, Mickhead.
Turk: Oh, hello, Mr. Gallbladder. Don't you get too comfy next to Mr. Liver. Because here comes Dr. Turk's robot laser.
Dr. Wen: Hey, Christopher. I could do without the color commentary.
Turk: Why it gotta be a "color commentary"? 'Cause I'm doing it?
Carla: Um, what's up with the oatmeal today?
Dr. Cox: Too much milk.
Carla: No.
Dr. Casey: Not enough butter.
Carla: That's it!
Dr. Cox: Did you just diagnose the oatmeal? You can't just go sniff and diagnose the oatmeal.
Jordan: He just did. Kevin, are you single?
Dr. Casey: Yeah. Why, are you?
Jordan: I'm thinking about it.
Carla: Heh. Yeah, me too.
Dr. Cox: What-what in the hell... just happened? Just... J-What just happened!?
I believe the word you're looking for is 'holy crap'.
Dr. Casey
J.D.: You are unflappable.
Dr. Casey: It's true, I can't be flapped.
J.D.'s Narration: I think when rational men are forced to face their shortcomings they all do the same thing: Blame Kevin Casey! Who gave him the right to judge me? 'Cause I sure didn't! I'll give him a piece of my mind!
Dr. Casey: Nice place. It's got that great...vomit and peanut smell.
J.D.: Yeah... Reminds me of my first girlfriend. She was a carnie.
Ted: Mark my words! If one more person is mean to me for no reason, I'll do it!
Laverne: Shut up, bozo.
Ted: One more person. She didn't know the rules.
Ted: If people keep pushing me for no reason, I swear I will hurl myself off this building!
Janitor: I'm not cleaning you up.
J.D.: Hey, buddy.
Dr. Casey: Hey... hey... Uh, give-give me a minute, will you?
J.D.: No, Kevin, I have to talk to you right now.
Dr. Casey: DAMMIT!
J.D.: Later's cool too.
J.D.'s Narration: Luckily for Kevin, he was getting the chance to meet everyone around here.
Todd: See, the reason the X-Box joke should work is that "x-box" is like the perfect word for a girl's party zone!
Dr. Casey: Uh...."The Todd", is it?
Todd: Oh, yeah.
Dr. Casey: Can you go make a very important phone call for me?
Todd: To who?
Dr. Casey: To anyone.
Dr. Kelso: That oughtta keep those damn crows from crapping on my car all the time.
Ted: I doubt they'll be back, sir. You know, unless someone who comes up here every day, trying to find the courage the jump, passes the time by throwing birdseed on your car's hood.
Dr. Kelso: Stop babbling, Ted. No one's ever listening.
