Scrubs Season 5 Episode 9: "My Half-Acre" Quotes
Elliot: Don't go to quickly, or like I said, you'll just end up with another beautiful girl.
J.D.: Dating my laptop.
Elliot: Dating your laptop. Thank you.
Alright listen up and listen good. I will kill anyone who tells Carla. And that includes you Mrs. London. I will save your life and take it away.Dr. Cox
J.D.: I wasn't saying you smelled like my Mom, I was saying you smelled like my-mum. It's an exotic flower indigenous to the hills of Costa Rica.
Julie: God, I feel so stupid.
J.D.'s narration: (While hugging Julie) Ohhhh, mommy.
Fine. I may have told her that she smells like my Mom. Which, by the way, I still maintain as a compliment.J.D.
Why would Julie just take off like that? I bet my body intimidated her. That's it! I'm selling that Bowflex on Craig's List.J.D.
Elliot: So I guess your date sucked, huh?
J.D.: HA! Why don't you ask her if our date sucked? She's in my room.
Elliot: Twenty bucks says you blow it in less than five minutes.
J.D.: Unlikely. 'Cause what's waiting for me in my room is what's known in football terms as a slam dunk. (Pantomiming a tennis racket swing)
Elliot: One Mississippi. Two Mississippi.
Julie: It's soooo late, I have to get going. I have a dog and a fish. I have to walk them and feed them and stuff. I'm Julie. Hi.
Elliot: I was Elliot. (To J.D.) Twenty bucks, pleeeease.
Janitor: (Watching Turk air performing) I don't know what "IT" is, but he's got it.
Lloyd: He's going to be trouble...
Janitor: I know, but he's so damn talented.
Janitor:We don't just rock together, we roll together.
Janitor, Lloyd, Ted, Turk: ::pounding chests:: Cool cats.
J.D.: How did you know I'd move too fast with Julie?
Elliot: Because I know you!
Dr. Cox: How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?
Carla: Because I know you!
Turk: How did you that Kelso just wanted respect?
Janitor: Because I know him!
Todd: (Watching in the security cameras) Wow! This is so cool!
Stay away from my girlfriend, Elliot! And stay away from my J.D. wigs!J.D.
Thanks for doing that. I wanted a picture of us old, you know, that way if one of us dies in a tragic skiing accident we'll always have that memory of us together.J.D.
All right Mrs. Nickels, your new hip is on the house 'cause this girl is smoking!J.D.