Scrubs Season 4 Episode 9: "My Malpractical Decision" Quotes
J.D.: Okay, I'm confused, I thought you weren't interested in me.
Neena: Well maybe I just said that to make it easier for you. Or maybe I said it 'cause I knew you'd do what I wanted you to. I'm not sure.
J.D.'s Narration: As I stood there confused but enjoying Neena's very long kiss with just the right amount of tongue, I thought about how when you make tough decisions good things can happen. Like the confidence you can gain from finding your true calling.
Doug: Hey, Nelson. Got some of your handiwork down in the morgue today. Were you operating with a blindfold on or what?
You know, if you really wanna piss him off, we should follow him to his office and just have sex right in front of him! Ahhhh, that would never work, I couldn't perform. It's a mentor thing.J.D.
Neena: Thank you. And I hope I didn't ruffle your feathers too much while I was here.
Dr. Cox: Sweetheart, I find it amusing that you think you're so much as a blip on my radar. Better go ahead and jot this down in your little lawyer notebook: Nothing you could possibly do could ever, hee-hever get to me.
J.D.: Turk, the way I see it, you got two options: You can go hard-core with Mr. Corman - slap a restraining order on him and switch him to another doctor...
Turk: Guy's a pain in the ass, but I can't do that to him!
Elliot: Then you just have to re-establish your boundaries and wean him off the home visits. It's easy. 'Course, you'll definitely have to change your cell phone number.
Turk: Mr. Corman, I filed a restraining order.
J.D.: How do I decide if we should do the procedure or not?
Elliot: How do I tell someone he shouldn't be a doctor?
Turk: How do I get my patient to stop stalking me?
Patient's Thoughts: How do I get these people to realize that just because I'm in a coma doesn't mean I can't hear them?... I'm hungry.
J.D.: Why are you doing this?
Neena: I love my dad. I'd do anything. But if it makes you feel any better, I think you're really sweet.
J.D.: How'm I supposed to believe that?
Neena: Well, you can't. I already lied to you once so the trust is broken, even though I'd never lie to you again.
Neena: Who knows.
Mr. Corman: Your father's gonna be just fine. The place is top-notch! I practically live here!
Neena: Are you a doctor?
Mr. Corman: Massive hypochondriac. If you'll excuse me, I have to go harass a surgeon.
Carla: Hey, Night School! Mr. Corman followed us home last night!
Turk: How'd you get my cell phone number?
Janitor: Ehh, once you got somebody's drivers license and a urine sample, you get just about anything. How do you flunk eighth grade gym?
Carla: You better stop messing with my husband.
Janitor: You-tell him to stop messing with my walls!
Carla: You did this?
Turk: Baby, you know you're my world.
Carla: I'm out.
Janitor: I flunked gym, too. Didn't like the shorts.
Elliot: What are they doing here?
Foxy Nurse and a shirtless guy are in a corner making out.
J.D.: This is a hospital! He should really have his shirt on.
J.D.: Dynamite areolas, though, huh?
J.D.: What are you doing here?
Elliot: Ah. Hiding from Doug. He asked me a question I haven't answered yet. You?
J.D.: I was trying to make a dramatic exit. I thought this was a patient's room.
Turk(on answering machine): Dude! Mr. Corman is suing me! And that ice princess is his attorney! When did he get a chance to meet her?! What am I gonna do? Call Turk as soon as you get this!
Neena: Are you coming in or what?
J.D.'s Narration: In the end, it's always best to rely on your principles to make decisions.
J.D.: Hell yeah!
Answering Machine: Message deleted.