Scrubs Season 4 Episode 2: "My Office" Quotes
J.D.: What a jerk! Hey, when Elliot asked you if she could run for chief resident and you said "why not," that was just a goof, right?
Elliot: Dr. Cox. Ran all those tests on Mr. Landisman.
Dr. Cox: Top-notch work, there, Barbie! She's good! She's very, very, very good!
Lyle: Hey, do you have a magazine?
J.D.: Not in me - I mean, on me.
J.D.'s Narration: I just needed to talk to someone.
Mover: Tough break, J.D. You've dreamed of being chief resident ever since you were a little boy growing up in Trotwood, Ohio.
J.D.'s Narration: What? How does he know that?
J.D.: Thank you, Frank.
Elliot: Can I still be considered as a candidate for the chief residency?
J.D.: She asked, without a prayer.
Dr. Cox: Sure, why not.
Elliot: Raise it! Raise it! Uh-oh, uh-oh! And grind. Grind it, grind it!
Carla: You know, Elliot, I still think you'd make a good chief resident.
Elliot: Carla, for the five billionth time, I'm not interested.
Molly: I think you would be a great chief resident!
Elliot: You do?
Carla: I just said that.
Turk: I know!
Elliot: Well, I'm starting my endocrinology and metabolism fellowship. I'm really looking forward to cataloguing all of the genetic variations of-
J.D., Carla and Turk start snoring
Elliot: Oh, really? Well, excuse me for taking an interest in hormonal regulatory research and relate-
They fall over with more snoring.
J.D.'s Narration: I was a little nervous today. Maybe it was because I had no idea who this guy on the back of my bike was.
Guy: See ya tomorrow!
J.D.: Will do.
J.D.'s Narration: Or maybe I was nervous because at 3 o'clock, Dr. Cox was gonna name me the new chief resident. How do I know? Well, for one thing, I'm the only one who applied.
Todd: I'm sorry if I ever demeaned you, Carla. You see, my feelings about women were warped by a very unhealthy relationship with my mother. We made out once.
Molly: That's good, Todd. Keep going.
Todd: Monique! I owe you an apology...
Carla: You fixed the Todd?
Molly: Well, without regular therapy, it'll probably only last...a week?
J.D.: I'll take Doug.
Doug: YES! Suck on that! Thanks, J.D. First pick.
J.D.: Relax, Doug, you're the only one whose name I know.
Molly: You guys, the situation would be perfect for my study.
J.D.: Oh, no.
Molly: Don't worry, Johnny. Everyone's gonna be anonymous, I'm only using initials. You'll be "J.D."
J.D.: Great. Maybe we could make it permanent.
Molly: Johnny!
J.D.'s Narration: Of course not.
Turk: Hey! So whatta you say we yank out that gallbladder?
Mr. Silka: That's the way you tell me I need major surgery!?
(After Elliot removes a sign with her fingers that he couldn't with a crowbar) She has fingers like biceps.
J.D.
