Scrubs Season 4 Episode 2: "My Office" Quotes
J.D.: The point is, we should... hang out outside the hospital sometime.
Elliot: J.D., I still need time. I know that's gonna be hard for you because you like to fix everything right away, but... you just do the best you can, okay?
J.D.: Is it fixed now?
Elliot: Nope.
J.D.'s Narration: Shoot!
J.D.'s Narration: Ultimately, conflict is resolved by remembering why you were friends in the first place.
Laverne: Don't hang up, Lester.
Molly: You should talk to her. You know her better.
J.D.'s Narration: Or by swallowing your pride.
Carla: I know what you're doing. But I'm okay with it.
Dr. Cox: He's coming. He's coming! Get your ass out here!
J.D.'s Narration: Or by uniting against a moment-stealing common enemy who took credit for your ingenious method of de-bulbing a patient's keister!
Dr. Cox: Turtlehead! You're gonna wanna get a piece of this! Come on.
Turk: Where'd you get the coat?
Janitor: I earned it. Let's get our moment.
Mr. Porter: Thanks for all the hard work, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: Glad to do it. Oh, and, uh, Bart, I think Lyle might be ready for that rough-sex-play talk you had with your other boys.
Turk: Look, I wanna apologize for my wife. She'd never admit it to you, but she likes to be the person around here who tells everybody what to do. Apparently she can't get enough of it at home. Right? Right? Wrong. Look, if every once in a while you could let her be the one to give the advice? You guys might end up being friends.
Molly: I can do that. And tell Carla that you did well.
Turk: You truly underestimate how proud my wife is. If she knew I was here, she'd kill me.
Molly: All right.
She leaves and Carla comes to face Turk
Carla: What happened to the part about how much I help people around here?
Turk: Wait a second, she said I did well!
Turk: What are you doing?
Molly: Oh, um, I'm tired of trying to find my office, so I just set up shop here!
Turk: Oh! Okay, that's not weird.
Dr. Cox: All we need to do is thread an angioplasty balloon past the bulb, inflate it...
Dr. Cox/Turk: ...and then pull.
Janitor: ...Pull it. I concur.
Dr. Cox: Holy cow. Do you realize if we could get a tight enough clamp around the bulb and then just-
Janitor: No, no, no, you'll break the thing! Look, here's the thing about lightbulbs, okay? They're structurally weak at the narrow end, but the round end is surprisingly strong.
Turk: So if we could get behind the bulb...
Janitor: I see where you're headed! We go down through the mouth!
Dr. Cox: Your turn's over.
Molly: It's funny, it's not about the argument anymore between you two - it's a competition about who can be stubborn the longest. If you think about it, the real winner is gonna be who has the guts to apologize first. Hm.
Turk/Dr. Cox: I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry about the gallbladder thing this morning! Yes! I win!
Turk: Dammit!
Molly: How's it going in here?
Turk/Dr. Cox: GO AWAY!
Molly: Wow, you kinda harmonized on that. That was cool.
