Scrubs Season 5 Episode 14: "My Own Personal Hell" Quotes
Lonnie: Yar. (The Janitor popsicles him) God! Why?
Janitor: You combined "you" and "are". "Yar". It made no sense.
Carla: I swear Turk, sometimes I think you and J.D. are more of a couple than we are.
J.D.: (Over the walkie talkie) Tell her I've known you longer.
Elliot: Later, I'm going to find some aloe and rub it wherever it hurts.
Keith: Well it's just on my back, really.
Elliot: Keith that was innuendo. You were going to work on this.
Keith: Oh right, right, right. Ok umit also hurts under my pants. In my pants! Damnit! I can't get this!
J.D.'s narration: People were starting to talk about Elliot and Keith but I decided to stay above the fray. Then I changed my mind.
(J.D. joins a group of nurses in a circle)
J.D.: Can you believe those two?
Laverne: No I can't. All that carrying on in public.
Nurse: It's way too much.
J.D.: It's just too much. Sorry, I switched places so I could go again.
J.D.: Mrs. Levin has dementia, Rex. And I know she loves sweets, so take the pill, put it in some raspberry jam, put it on your finger, dip it in her mouth. Hello!
J.D.'s narration: Rex would forever remember that morning as the time he lost his finger tip.
(To Turk) Young man, can you make sure they don't give me any black blood?
Patient
Dr. Cox: Listen up.
Keith: You are!
Dr. Cox: We're not doing that anymore.
Dr. Cox: Gandharoo, I need you to talk to a young pregnant black girl who will not let me call her mom.
Turk: Why would she listen to me?
Dr. Cox: I may have told her you were Kanye West.
Turk: I'm actually all right with that.
First of all, the only woman in this hospital that I would even consider sleeping with is Jamie in Pediatrics. (All the women moan)
Elliot
J.D.: Wow.
Lisa: It's just so unfair!
Gloria: So unfair.
J.D.: It really is unfair you guys.
J.D.: Are you nude right now?
Turk: Yeah! How'd you know?
J.D.: Your voice is always higher when you're nude.
Turk: That's true.
Dr. Cox: It's not weird you know that at all.
Turk: Hey White Shadow.
J.D.: That's not my handle.
Turk: Hey Gizmo.
