Scrubs Season 2 Quotes
Turk: All right, Ralphie, new tack: I want you to do what I do, okay? I want you to imagine that there are tiny men inside your booty, trying to push the dookie. Push the dookie out, Ralphie! Can you imagine that for me?
J.D.: That Mrs. Larkin's an aggressive lady. She wouldn't even let her husband finish a sentence-
Dr. Cox: Oh, shut the hell up, would you please? At least she's ballsy, unlike that husband who's the overly thoughtful, sensitive type that drive me crazy.
Dr. Kelso: This hospital has always had a co-ed locker room. Ahhh, back when I was a resident, I remember blah-blah-blah, nostalgic story. Now get the hell out of my office!... Not you, Ted... Ted, get the hell out of my office!
Ted: Oh, thank God.
J.D.: Trust me, I wouldn't want to have to make this decision.
Mr. Larkin: I wish I could ask my wife. She'd be better at handling this than me.
J.D.: You know, you and I are a lot alike. We may seem like the kind of guy you can just, you know, throw in a head-lock and draw a mustache on... but, in crunch time, we always come through
Elliot: Plus, according to county statue, all medical facilities in this region are required to provide single-sex bathrooms and change-rooms for their employees. Put that in your suggestion box and smoke it!
Dr. Kelso: Dammit. Where'd she learn all that legal mumbo-jumbo?
Elaine: I'm not afraid of death. I mean, if I got a heart, that would be great. Still, if they told me it was never gonna happen, I think that'd be okay, too. It's the waiting I can't take. I just wanna know one way or the other, you know?
Dr. Cox: I got an idea: Why don't we switch to a cheerier subject!
J.D.: What do you think death is like?
Elaine: I really hope it's like a big Broadway musical. Everyone's all dressed up and singing to the rafters, and you go out with a real flourish.
Turk: Will you marry me?
Carla: What did you say?
Turk: I think I said, "Will you marry me?"
Carla: Turk, wow!
Turk: I got a ring. Um... I don't have it on me, but, uh... it's in a safe place.
Carla: I can't believe this! I- I've imagined you saying this to me like a thousand times... I just never imagined that when you actually asked, all I would say is... I need to think.
Turk: Cool! Uh... Yeah, whew! That's-that's-that's-that's what I was hoping to hear!
Dr. Cox: Would you say you've been in contact with many exotic primates this year?
Mr. Corman: I have been to the zoo, yes.
Dr. Cox: And while you were there did you go ahead and jump right into the cage and play toss the poop with the other monkeys? Because if you did then yeah, you just might have Yabba., but if that's the case it would be way, way down on the list of your problems. Give him a full work up.
Dr. Cox: Ahhh, damn. I missed the annual sleep-over, didn't I? That wonderful time of year when you two crazy kids throw caution to the wind and make sweet, elbowy love to each other. Don't you be shy! You can tell Uncle Coxie about the naught-aye!
Elliot: Dr. Cox, I lost my apartment, and so I was just...needing a place to stay.
Dr. Cox: So, you went over to your "friend's" house, and cried on his shoulder - boo-hoo, wah - and you, of course, comforted her because she was weak and vulnerable, and blah... blah... blah... nerdy sex. The end. Dear Lord, Laverne, how in God's name do you listen to this crap all day long?
Laverne: Are you kidding? If he turns out to be her brother, this is better than my stories!
Todd: Dude. What are her boobs like?
Elliot: Todd, I'm standing right here.
Todd: I'm sorry. What are your boobs like?
J.D.: Going on vacation?
Janitor: I get it - 'cause I'm a janitor, so, when I pack for a vacation, I just pack cleaning supplies. That's funny!
J.D.: I thought so.
Janitor: Actually, I'm going to speak at my son's career day.
J.D.: About... being a janitor?
Janitor: What do you think, there aren't kids out there that want to grow up to make the world sparkle?
Girl: I'm still a virgin.
Turk: You're pregnant.
Girl: Again!?
