Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
Carla: You've been talking to this girl you used to sleep with, and you never told her you were married?
Turk: She never asked?
Janitor: You guys are out. You guys are back in. Where's Margo?
Randall: She's at a Ludacris concert with her birth mom.
Janitor: I lose my van to him, and I lose Margo to gangsta rap. Bad day.
Kylie: I was thinking about how patient you've been with me. How right things feel. And then you showed up and it feels like fate.
J.D.: Wait, are you saying that you're ready? Awesome.
Kylie: First, let me set the mood.
J.D.: And Kylie, you're right. It is fate. Because I was out with this girl tonight that I totally could have had sex with, but it was easy for me to blow her off because I was excited to be with you... Why have you stopped lighting incense? It makes the room smell like Chinese rain.
Kylie: You blew me off tonight to be with some random girl?
J.D.: Well, she's not a random girl. I mean, I had a crush on her long before I met you.
Mr. Peeps: I will kill you!
Carla: So you guys think I'm overreacting about this whole Turk thing?
Elliot: Phone calls from an ex would drive me nuts!
J.D.'s Narration: I knew how to get rid of both of them, but I can't do that to Turk.
He hears a voice from the direction of his pants
Mr. Peeps: If you don't do it, I will.
J.D.: Mr. Peeps? Why are you British?
Mr. Peeps: I'll explain later. Just lose the extra bitches.
Janitor: Sorry guys, I can't go clubbing tonight. Daddy's got a date.
Ted: Aw man! I ironed my going out hair!
I'm going to paint your Porsche mint green so it looks like my van's baby.
Janitor
Kylie: I have a surprise for you tonight.
J.D.: God, I hope it's sex. Or a pony. I'll bet it's sex because I don't see a pony.
Dr. Cox: Look, why don't you bring Nathan over to our place tonight? The kids can play, and we can forget all about this competition crap.
Ron: I'd like that.
Dr. Cox: So would I... Jack is going to kick Nathan's ass at playing!
Ron: Will you be joining us for dinner?
Jordan: No way. Every time we go out, the whole night turns into a giant pissing contest.
Dr. Cox: Tell me this, how's that super sexy mother of yours? She annihilates me!
Ron: You know what, your crush on my mom was cute when we were fourteen, but the woman's 85 now. You need to back off. Or we can ask her out to dinner. I'll have her pop in her "going out" teeth and you two can see if there's any real spark.
Turk: Okay, you know what, I vote Elliot goes home! Because she's all up in our space, honey! She's in our space!
Elliot: Oh, why? Because I don't want to dish about other people behind their backs or smell your toe?
Turk: Or finger!
Elliot: All I've seen so far is the toe, Turk!
Dr. Cox: All right, Jack, listen to me. Ron's in the bathroom diapering his kid. When he gets out, it's playtime. And, son, lately your coloring's been sloppy and your Elmo song - well, unfortunately, it's lacked heart. Now you and I, we both know that your super-secret go-to toy are your building blocks. Well, it's time to shine, Jackie Cox. It is time to shine. Earn daddy's love on three. One, two, three - earn daddy's love!
Ron: 27-second diaper change.
Dr. Cox: I can change a diaper in twenty seconds.
Jordan: Oh, my God!
