Mr. Summers: Enough is enough. I want to meet this Dr. Reid!
Elliot: No problem... Frick!

Wait, hold on Turk! Haven't you ever heard of keeping your enemies closer? I was just keeping her closer!


J.D.'s Narration: Sure, Dr. Cox and I were feeling guilty. But if Turk didn't want to talk about it, we were in the clear.
Carla: May I have a word with you two?

Elliot: Okay, who wants to be me? Craig, you're probably still mad at me. Anyone else?
Todd: Dr. Reid. At your service.
Elliot: Okay, that's a no for Todd.

Hello. I'm Dr. Reid. Dr. Elliot Reid. I'm a doctor.


Carla: And you! Why do you want everybody in this hospital to be as miserable as you?
Dr. Cox: How could you not get this? What does misery love?
Carla: Alright, look-
J.D.: Company! Misery loves company! Misery loves company...
Carla: Oh God...

Janitor: Summers, I think we can save your foot.
Elliot: It's his heart.
Janitor: I know that. We're concerned about your ticker.
He starts cleaning a smudge on the window
Elliot: Ahem!
Janitor: Ah, yes. Yes yes. Well, your paper script looks good. But, I'm going to have to listen to that heart of yours... Well, I'm afraid I was wrong. We're going to have to take that foot.

J.D.'s Narration: And that's when I realized I would never be strong enough to break Neena's hold over me. I needed help. I needed someone who was even scarier than she was. I needed a real witch.
Jordan is wearing a witch's hat and cackling
Jordan: Someone must have left this here from Halloween.

Jordan: Elliot, if you can handle that sexist dirtbag in there, you can certainly handle Perry.
Elliot: Why are you being nice to me?
Jordan: Okay, Perry occasionally talks to me at home. And he told me that you don't need him as much anymore, and it annoys the hell out of him, which of course gives me endless enjoyment.

Mr. Corman: Hey. There's no pie here. Oh my God! Oh, you two are going to kill me!
Carla: Nobody's going to kill you.
Turk: Hi, I'm Dr. Nobody.
Mr. Corman: Oh, I see. This is your Hippocratic Oath? Schoolyard threats? Seriously, is there no pie?

Carla: Look, Turk. I know you feel like you did right by him, but you have to acknowledge that Mr. Corman here feels like you let him down.
Mr. Corman: You know what? I don't feel that way. I know you did the best job you could. But there's something that you should know about me. People hate me. But in tennis, they're forced to interact. So for three hours, two Sundays a month, I have friends. You know what I mean?
Carla: So what you're saying is that even though you think my husband did a great job, you've decided to crush his spirit by putting a permanent black mark on his medical record over a tennis game?
Mr. Corman: I fear I've said too much.

I should have known, Barbie. Hell, you have been impersonating a doctor since the first day you got here.

Dr. Cox

Scrubs Season 4 Quotes

Doug wanted me to give this patient five hundred thousand milligrams of morphine. I thought I'd check with you before I kill a man.


Janitor: Nice, huh?
J.D.: Who gets a tattoo of a mop?