Scrubs Season 5 Quotes
I was gonna be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.
Laverne
Cafeteria Worker: I was gonna be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough!
Bum: Heh heh, funny! You know, I was gonna have her bring you some chicken, but it was fowl!
Mr. Thompson: Tell me about your kid.
Jordan: Oh, how'd you know I was a mom?
Mr. Thompson: As a parent myself, I can read the signs, you know? And let us not forget the understated coffee mug we're carrying.
(Jordan looks at her mug, which has a photo of Jack and the words "Jack's Mom.")
Elliot: Why did you come here, Carla?
Carla: You're mad at me? Why didn't you want me to come to your job?
Nurse: Hey, Bankfarter! If you want, we're all going down for lunch?
Elliot: You tell me.
Jason: Did we do something wrong, Dr. Dorian?
J.D.: No, you guys are fine. You're doing a good job.
J.D.'s Narration: Still, good guy or not, there's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy the perks.
J.D.: You know what, I want the laughter back!
J.D.'s Narration: As for me, I already knew exactly what the truth was. Plus, my best friend was always around to back me up.
J.D.: How funny is this joke: "That patient's tumor is so big, it's starting to look like a 'threemor'!" Heh heh heh...
Keith: "Threemor"! You are hilarious, Dr. D.!
Turk: Awful. Awful. Awful!
Okay, be cool. They're just kids... Except Gloria. What is her deal?
J.D.'s Narration
Keith: Look! Your jokes kind of suck, and when I laugh you pick me to do procedures!
J.D.: Unbelievable. From now on, there is absolutely no laughing at my jokes unless they're particularly hysterical. Talk about your Mission Impossibles.
Elliot: Look, Carla, I didn't want you to come here because... well... Look, there's so much great about you - you're smart, you're loyal, you've absolutely shattered all of my preconceived notions about chicanos!
Carla: Elliot? Bring it.
Elliot: You're a bit of a gossip.
Carla: So? I'm interested in people's stories!
Elliot: Thanks to you, for the rest of my career I have the world's worst nickname!
Carla: "Bankfarter"'s not so bad. It sounds German!
Fellowship Director: Hey, Bankfarter, did you hear? Charlie found a successful gene therapy for O.I. He basically cured the disease.
Elliot: How did he have any time to work when he was always torturing me!?
Fellowship Director: Jealousy's an ugly color, Bankfarter. Anyway, we're discontinuing your fellowship.
Jordan: I'm not sure how people go about doing these things...(pulls out some cash) but here. You should be there for your daughter's birthday.
Mr. Thompson: I can't take that.
Jordan: Come on... I can't even Botox an ear with this.
Hey! Why don't you guys go upstairs and do some work? And for God's sakes, will somebody wake up Gloria?
J.D.
