Scrubs Season 5 Quotes
Elliot: Seriously, if you tell, I will never trust you again with anything.
Dr. Kelso: Where've you been?
Carla: Nowhere!
Dr. Mickhead: What're you doing?
Carla: Nothing!
Janitor: How's Blonde Doctor?
Carla: Cheese!
Laverne: What's the dish?
Carla: I gotta go!
Turk: Hey!
Carla: No hablo Ingls!
Turk: Oh my God, you got that little bit of saliva on your lip that says you know something juicy!
Carla: No, I don't.
Turk: Here it comes... YES!
Carla: Oh, okay, here's the scoop!
Mr. Thompson: Hey, lambchop. Uh, crazy story - I was, uh, I was taking a bus to my plane ticket, there was an accident, and thank God I'm alive. I'd hug you but I, uh, uuuggghhh!
Dr. Kelso: Jordan. Uh, this is one of our most famous con artist-slash-drug addicts.
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you, sir.
Dr. Kelso: You as well. Turkleton? You've dealt with him before-
Mr. Thompson: Hey, dude!
Dr. Kelso: Why didn't you tell her?
Turk: 'Cause he told me not to!
Dr. Cox: This is gonna cost you.
J.D.: We were gonna do Multi-Ethnic Siamese Doctor Has a Fresca, but then Turk started getting on my case about my interns!
Turk: He's mad because they're sucking up to him. And I was sayin', Dude, that's the exact same thing you did with Dr. Cox.
J.D.: You know what? Put our right hand in front of your face... Now talk to it!
Turk: Dude, get up - I gotta go to the bathroom.
J.D.'s Narration: As I went to the men's room with Turk, praying he only had to go onesies...
Carla: So, Jordan, I heard Sam got you. Don't worry, he totally suckered me once.
Laverne: When I first started, I lent my car to a patient to go pick up her kids? Last time I ever saw that hotrod.
Dr. Cox: It's a rite of passage that you have to go through around here to be accepted.
Jordan: Oh my God! You actually did something nice for me!
Dr. Cox: No, no. No no no no no no no. It was a selfish act. If other people talk to you, you won't have to talk to me!
Turk: Dude, you're still eating those brownies!
J.D.: I don't wanna get pregnant, shoot.
Carla: Dr. Cox says it's like having a dog that gradually learns to talk.
Turk: Awesome!
Carla: Why are you in your boxers?!
J.D.: Yes, I am, Carla! Because I know when Turk's sad, he likes me to come over in my boxers, because he likes to call me his "honky adonis." And that's what friends do.
Carla/Elliot: Eh.
J.D.'s Narration: They bought it? Are we that gay?
Ketchup is for winners, Ted!
Dr. Kelso
Ah Jason, when you're filling out a female patient's exam report, her breasts can be healthy or unhealthy never 'bangin' double D's'.
J.D.
