Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes

(to Carol) Jerry has a fear of public toilets.

George

One hundred percent cotton-Dockers. If they're not Dockers, they're just pants.

Kramer

Carol: Would you like to come upstairs for coffee?George: No, thanks, I can't drink coffee late at night. It keeps me up.

"Coffee"'s not coffee, "coffee" is sex!

George

George: The light is blinking: "Come and listen to the idiot!"

Jerry: Kramer, this is Donna.
Kramer: (snaps fingers) Cotton Dockers!

Donna: I asked some friends of mine this week, and all of them liked the commercial.
Jerry: (sarcastic) Boy, I bet you got a regular Algonquin round table there.

I'm lactose intolerant. I have no tolerance for lactose and I won't stand for it!

Jerry

(to George) I don't know what your parents did to you.

Elaine

Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over 360 pair. That way I only have to do wash once a year.

George

(mocking Alton Benes) He's in the bathroom.

George

George: (singing) Master of the house, doling out the charm
(later)
Mr. Benes: (singing) Master of the house, keeper of the inn

Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes

(George, Jerry and Elaine are sitting at a table. Jerry and George are wearing baseball uniforms.)
George: Who gets picked off in softball? It's unheard of.
Jerry: It's never happened to me before.
Elaine: I remember saying to myself, "Why is Jerry so far off the base?"
Jerry: I'll have to live with this shame for the rest of my life.
(George consults his stat sheet of the game)
George: And then in the fifth inning, why did you take off on the pop fly?
Jerry: I thought there were two outs.
Elaine: I couldn't believe it when I saw you running. (laughing) I thought maybe they had changed the rules or something.
Jerry: It was the single worst moment of my life.
George: What about Sharon Besser?
Jerry: Oh, well, of course. Nineteen seventy three.
Elaine: Makes you wonder, though, doesn't it?
Jerry: Wonder about what?
Elaine: You know (looking up) the spirit world.
Jerry: You think Manya showed up during the game and put a hex on me?
Elaine: I never saw anyone play like that.
Jerry: But I went to the funeral.
Elaine: Yeah, but that doesn't make up for killing her.
George: Maybe Manya missed the funeral because she was off visiting another galaxy that day.
Jerry: Don't you think she would've heard I was there?
George: Not necessarily.
(pause)
Jerry: Who figures an immigrant's gonna have a pony?
(Elaine laughs)

Jerry: I hate anybody who had a pony growing up.
Manya: I had a pony!
Jerry: Well, I didn't mean a pony per se
Manya: When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony. So, what's wrong with that?
Jerry: Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just expressing
Helen: Should we have coffee? Who's having coffee?
Manya: He was a beautiful pony. And I loved him!
Jerry: Well, I'm sure you did. Who wouldn't love a pony? Who wouldn't love a person who had a pony?
Manya: You! You said so!

Seinfeld Season 2 Photos

  1. Shows
  2. Seinfeld
  3. Seinfeld Season 2
  4. Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes
  5. Page 13