I've never seen you put on deodorant before.

Carl [to Frank]

Not to be a dick or anything, but you have been kind of a whore.


Eat my ass!!!

Debbie [playing video game]

Snob Mob: It must be nice not to own a house and have to worry about this stuff.
Fiona: Yeah, it gives me more time to buy drugs and fence stolen goods.

Wanna see me make a Mangina?


Not only did you lie to me about the PCP, you fucked my brother. What's next? You're gonna take up with a black lady man? Oh I forgot that already happened.

Frank [to Monica]

I get it. I was married to Frank for 18 years, it's like swallowing glass everyday.


Whores don't get cars!!


I wouldn't exactly call it an orgy, but there were a lot of naked body parts flying around.


Two lesbians at home and the promise of cash? Maybe your luck has changed Frank.


You wish you had a dick as big as mine!

Bob [to Frank]

Bob: Do we have a problem, PHILIP?
Lip: I don't know, BOB, let's see. You're camped out at my house, you're fucking my mother, and you're talking about stealing my baby brother. Why would we have a problem?

Shameless Season 1 Quotes

Ian: Hey Fiona? I'm gay.
Fiona: I know.

Lip: What exactly does hooked up mean?
Kevin: Last I checked penis goes into the vagina.