Stan: I made a promise to Jesus.
Randy: Stan, Jesus doesn't matter when Muhammad is involved.

• Permalink: I made a promise to Jesus. Stan, Jesus doesn't matter when Muh...
• Added: April 15, 2010

Joseph Smith: Boys you need to understand that people get very offended when Muhammad is mocked because he's a religious figure.
Jesus: Buddha! Don't do coke in front of kids!

• Permalink: Boys you need to understand that people get very offended when M...
• Added: April 15, 2010

Tom Cruise: Imagine it, Tim. No one could rip on you for all the rehashed movies you've made lately. There'd never be a TV show that pointed out you haven't had an original thought since Beetlejuice. And you put Johnny Depp and the same crappy music in every film. And if you're so in love with Johnny Depp you should just have sex with him already. No TV show could ever say that.
Tim Burton: Gee, that'd be swell.

• Permalink: Imagine it, Tim. No one could rip on you for all the rehashed m...
• Added: April 15, 2010

Tom Cruise: Jimmy buffet, how would you like it if no one could call your music drunken frat boy, monkey garbage?
Jimmy Buffet: I'd love it.

• Permalink: Jimmy buffet, how would you like it if no one could call your mu...
• Added: April 15, 2010

Detective: Dammit, Marsh. Why couldn't you have just kept your stupid, ugly kid in line?
Randy: Hey, don't start blaming me for his looks.

• Permalink: Dammit, Marsh. Why couldn't you have just kept your stupid, ugly...
• Added: April 15, 2010

How come you're packing fudge, Mr. Cruise?

Butters

• Permalink: How come you're packing fudge, Mr. Cruise?
• Added: April 15, 2010

Hey guys look, Tom Cruise is a fudge packer.

Stan

• Permalink: Hey guys look, Tom Cruise is a fudge packer.
• Added: April 15, 2010