Okay, beam me up! I mean, 'BOIM' me up. You know what I'm sayin'

Boimler

Mariner: I thought you were on the Oakland?
Ramsey: Couldn't pass up a water filtration repair!
Mariner: This is crazy! Wait, and you're a frickin' captain now? Get those title bumps, girl.
Ramsey: Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal.

Boimler: Wait, you knew she could talk and walk?
Tendi: Yeah, of course she can talk. She's a dog.
Boimler: Normal dogs don't do any of that stuff.
Tendi: They don't? Wait, but normal dogs hover and spit lightning, right?
Boimler: No, none of that!
Tendi: OH! Well, then, this is starting to make a lot more sense.

Tendi: Hey! You are a freak!
The Dog: I know! I just didn't want you to worry!

Mariner: Rutherford! We need your transporter thing up and running! Now!
Rutherford: It made Boimler weird!
Mariner: Boim us out of here!

Mariner: How do you do this every day? It's so boring.
Ramsey: You used to love space mysteries.
Mariner: Yeah, I used to be dumb.
Ramsey: That's one way to look at it.
Mariner: What does that mean?
Ramsey: I expected to be working with the capable Starfleet bad-ass I knew at the academy. Not whatever you are now.
Mariner: Yeah, and I expected to be working with my fun friend not a total b----

D14: I must warn you. Stepping aboard this vessel is consent to be surrounded by dark abnormalities and the clinically obscene.
Boimler: Uh, how long will it take get to the spa? I wasn't sure how many books to bring.
D14: Do not trouble yourself with the journey. The Farm cures all.

Freeman: Captain Ramsey, I just wanted to take a brief pause from our covert operation to check in on my ship.
Ramsey: The Cerritos and her crew have performed admirably, Captain Freeman. We repaired the waste pipe on Qampa and are waiting on the Rubidoux.
Freeman: Very good. I've got to go. These rulot seeds are highly volitile. I may be called to plant them at any moment.

Freaks united are freaks no more. Say it with me,'Freaks fight back!'

Osler passenger

Boimler: How long is this gonna last?
T'Ana: How am I supposed to know? You look like a goddamn science project.
Boimler: Then *ow* why are you still taking samples?

T'Ana: I've already alerted Division 14.
Boimler: The time travel police?
T'Ana: No! D14 handles unsolvable space illnesses and science mysteries.
Boimler: And they can make me a real boy again?
T'Ana: They've got this great medical spa in Endocronimus 5. Everyone just calls it 'The Farm'. You'll be pampered and tended to like a precious gem.

Rutherford: Wait, you named it 'The Dog'?
Tendi: Of course, why wouldn't I? She's a totally normal dog.
Rutherford: I'm starting to think you know more about DNA than you do about dogs.

Star Trek: Lower Decks Season 1 Quotes

Boimler: Romulan whiskey is against regulations!
Mariner: Yeah, because it's awesome.

First contact is a delicate, high-stakes operation of diplomacy. One must be ready for anything humanity is interacting with an alien race for the first time. But we don't do that. Our specialty is SECOND contact. Still pretty important. We get all the paperwork signed, make sure we're spelling the name of the planet right, get to know all the good places to eat...

Boimler