Station 19 Season 4 Episode 4: "Don't Look Back in Anger" Quotes
Sullivan: I’ve just had the worst first shift.
Andy: Do you want to talk to me about it?
Sullivan: No, no, I’m good.
Andy: Come on.
Sullivan: After Montana, this was the first place that felt safe, so I thought coming back here was gonna be like coming home. I knew being a probie would be hard, but I thought hardest part was gonna be cleaning toilets or watching you in a towel. This Miller thing…
Andy: He’s overreacting.
Sullivan: No, he’s right. That’s the problem. Everything he says is right.
Andy: Look my dad always used to say, ‘What’s done is done.’ You can’t change what you did, Robert. You can only change what you do now, and you’re doing everything you can to make things right.
If I went to church, and I talked about the deep love that I have for my husband and the profound ways that he changed me and my life and my heart. If I admit all that, and I don’t repent, well, I’m not going to heaven, right? I get to go to hell. I get to go to hell for who and how I love. That’s what my dad’s up against. That’s what he’s buying into.Travis
Maya: I’m afraid of how much I’m like my dad. You know, my brother and I, we chose such opposite ways of dealing with him. Mason buried his head in the sand like my mom, and me, I just wanted to please hm. I made myself into a perfect copy of my dad, so that he wouldn’t find a reason to be mad at me. I spent so many years learning how to read his sighs and silences, the hunch of his shoulders, so many years mimicking the tone of his voice. I’m scared that protecting myself from him, I turned myself into him.
Andy: You are nothing like him.
Ben: You’re riding mighty high on that horse, aren’t you?
Dean: Don’t talk down to me, Warren. He lied. So did you.
Ben: He made mistakes. So did I.
Dean: Mistakes? We gotta constantly think about what neighborhood we’re in, what we’re wearing, what we say, how we sound. We don’t get the luxury of mistakes. Sullivan knew better. You knew better.
Ben: You’re right. You’re right. Everything you just said is spot on. Look, all I can offer is this: If Dixon screws up, it’s on Dixon. He’s a bad apple. But if Sullivan screws up, that’s on every black firefighter in Seattle. Sound fair to you?
Dean: No, that’s exactly my point. It’s just the way the world works.
Ben: Yeah, and it is, but that doesn’t mean that you have to.
Sullivan: What’s the problem, Miller?
Sullivan: Yeah, I gathered that.
Dean: You reached the level most black firefighters will never sniff, let alone see, and what do you do with all the success, everything they think we do. We have to work twice as hard just to be considered.
Sullivan: Well, that’s not exclusive to firefighters.
Dean: You don’t give two craps about making it harder for every other black firefighter.
Sullivan: Don’t assume that what I did doesn’t mean I don’t give a crap about it. Don’t you think I’m sorry? You don’t think I know what I did?
Dean: No, I think you knew exactly what you did; you just did it anyway.
Sullivan: I stole drugs because I’m an addict, Miller. You have no idea what it feels like to need a drug. You don’t know my pain.
Dean: Everybody here knows the pain of the job. Only one person stole drugs and lied about it. I’m not patting you on the back. I remember you at the academy, all high and mighty, constantly preaching about integrity. You pushed me to be better, and now you’re just a lying, drug-stealing thief with a free pass to do it again.
Sullivan: I was injured, Miller.
Dean: And you’re about to injured again, Robert, if you don’t get out of my face.
I’ve been so mad at him, so mad at my mom for the lies, for the pain, but seeing this, my god, this baby. What chance does she have? Two parents who hate each other. Drugs, alcohol, misery. What’s gonna become of her? My dad did OK, and I guess my mom kinda did OK too because she knew better than to stay.Andy
Jack: Hey, hey, just take a breath.
Inara: I can’t take a breath, Jack. We might have COVID, and we have to find a place to stay, and…
Inara: If Marsha dies, we have to find somewhere else to go.
Jack: Hey, hey, hey, hey, take it a step at a time.
Inara: I’m taking it one step at a time, Jack. I’m a single mother of a deaf child who’s still running from her psycho ex-husband.
Jack: We have no idea what Marsha will even do…
Inara: Her son’s been calling. She hasn’t been answering, but he’s been calling. What if he takes over the apartment? I have to think about where we’re going to live.
Jack: If that happens, you can stay with me.
Inara: Ted can trace you to me.
Jack: We don’t even know if she has it.
Inara: She refused to wear a mask, Jack. Of course, she has it. Oh god, I’m such an ass. I’m so sorry.
Jack: You’re not an ass. You’re scared. Yeah, you’re just scared. Like everyone else, we’re just scared.
Inara: I really wish I could hug you right now.
Jack: I really wish you could too.
Maya: Fill me in.
Vic: She’s pregnant. Possibly high, possibly drunk. More likely a mental health issue, or you know, all of it.
Andy: Did you call PD?
Vic: She’s pregnant. I’m rooting for her baby not to be born in prison.
Travis: My mom’s at the grocery store, and my dad is golfing.
Vic: And you’re yelling at me because…
Travis: Because my dad’s not golfing.
Vic: Oh, right.
Travis: Honestly, I don’t know what makes me more mad – the closeted gay sex, the cheating on my mom, or the putting others at risk.
Vic: Do you, do you think your mom knows?
Travis: That my dad’s cruising for guys online and calling it golfing? I… dear god I hope not.
Vic: Are you going to tell her?
Travis: Why would I tell her?
Vic: If my husband were screwing around I would want to know.
Travis: Hey ma, how you doing it? It smells good in here. Uh quick FYI, dad’s been secretly playing with penises outside your marriage, and oh my god, why would I say ‘playing with penises’ when referencing my father?
Vic: I… I don’t know why you would ever say that.
Andy: How am I supposed to stay away from you when I have to watch you rescue kittens and children every day?
Sullivan: We keep it professional, shop talk.
Andy: Oh, shop talk is how we ended up married.
Sullivan: Just two more months.
Andy: Just two more months, huh?
Andy: I always dreamed of living inside a Buca di Beppo, and now we do.
Maya: Carina is hanging all of this to dry. She said it reminds her of home. What do I do about this?
Andy: I don’t know. Throw a dinner party.