The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Season 1 Episode 4: "The Luminous Fish Effect" Quotes
Penny: This is the best cobbler ever!
Mary: You know what the secret ingredient is?
Penny: Love?
Marry: Lard
Mary: Now, you listen here. I have being telling you since you were four years old, it's okay to be smarter than everybody but you can't go around pointing it out.
Sheldon: Why not?
Mary: Because people don't like it. You don't remember all the ass kickings you got from the neighbor kids. Now lets get cracking. Shower, shirt, shoes and let's shove off.
Sheldon: There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked
I made chicken. I hope it's not one of the animals that you people think is magic
Mary [to Raj]
Sheldon: This car weighs, let's say, 4,000 pounds. Now add 140 for me, 120 for you...
Penny: 120?!
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth?
Leonard, the Lord never gives us more than we can handle. Thankfully, he blessed me with two other children who were dumb as soup
Mary
Wolowitz: Forgive me for being so bold, but I now see where Sheldon gets his smoldering good looks.
Mary: Honey, that ain't gonna work, but you keep trying.
Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."
