The Good Place
Thursdays 9:00 PM on NBCThe Good Place Season 2 Quotes
I believe in you, nerd boy. If you can teach me and Jason ethics, you can teach anybody.
Eleanor
Michael: It's just a simulation. I would never make you kill real people.
Chidi: Oh, well that's reassuring, because some of the parts of the fake people FLEW INTO MY MOUTH.
When I'm really upset, concentrating on a table of contents helps me calm down. It's like a menu, but the food is words.
Chidi
Okay, so that was trolley problem version number seven. Chidi opted to run over five William Shakespeares instead of one Santa Claus.
Michael
I just feel like Tahani's embarrassed that I'm not some kind of scientist who forecloses on banks.
Jason
The point is, you're cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained. I've never seen you dance, but I bet you're good, 'cause you're good at everything. You're awesome! Be nicer to yourself.
Jason [to Tahani]
In the words of a very wise Bed, Bath, and Beyond employee I once knew, "Go ahead and cry all you want, but you're gonna have to pay for that toilet plunger."
Eleanor
Eleanor: Right now, I'm your best student. I'm gonna be the velociraptor.
Chidi: Are you trying to say valedictorian?
I would say I outdid myself, but I'm always this good. So I simply did myself.
Tahani
Eleanor: Teaming up with a demon is insane.
Chidi: Maybe, but I think we have to do it.
Eleanor: Are you forking kidding me right now?! You take half an hour to pick out a turtleneck and yet THIS you're sure about?
Michael: I'm an immortal being with abilities you can only dream of.
Eleanor: Yeah, and we're an Arizona dirt bag, a human turtleneck, a narcissistic monster, and literally the dumbest person I've ever met.
Jason: And who am I? Describe me now!
Eleanor: I think Michael is a liar. I think there's a 99% chance he's forking with us. But, he's asking us for help, so we should help him. Because that's what Chidi would do. That's what Chidi would do for me, or for any of us.
Chidi: It's what I am doing.
Eleanor: I know.
Chidi: It's just, you're talking about me like I'm not here or something, and that just makes me feel weird.
