No matter how I set it up, you found [Chidi], confessed you didn't belong, asked him for help, he said yes. Now, his agreeing to help was part of my plan. What wasn't part of my plan was it actually working. Drove me nuts. Pesky little nerd, stuck with you and always helped you overcome your biggest problem.

Michael

• Permalink: No matter how I set it up, you found , confessed you didn't belong, asked him for...
• Added: October 03, 2017

I want to do it. I want to become the person I pretended to be. I agree with Chidi; we should team up with Michael and all try to build a better Tahani.

Tahani

• Permalink: I want to do it. I want to become the person I pretended to be. I agree with Chidi; we should...
• Added: October 03, 2017

Every time a Janet is rebooted, she increases her social awareness and abilities. I might be the most advanced Janet in the universe!

Janet

• Permalink: Every time a Janet is rebooted, she increases her social awareness and abilities. I might be...
• Added: October 03, 2017

Chidi: Where is everyone?
Eleanor: Who knows? Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting, 'cause it's basically a savory latte with bugs in it.

• Permalink: Who knows? Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting, 'cause it's basically a...
• Added: September 26, 2017

I have tickets to Hamilton next week, and there's a rumor that Daveed Diggs is coming back!

Janet

• Permalink: I have tickets to Hamilton next week, and there's a rumor that Daveed Diggs is coming back!
• Added: September 26, 2017

I have listened to you talk about Chidi fifteen times in fifteen different ways. Let me just cut to the chase. You two? You got it bad for each other.

Mindy

• Permalink: I have listened to you talk about Chidi fifteen times in fifteen different ways. Let me just...
• Added: September 26, 2017

Jason: Yo, yo! Homies, check it! There's something messed up with this place. We keep fighting with each other, none of the TVs get the NFL RedZone channel, my soulmate doesn't even know who Blake Bortles is. I know this sounds crazy, but I think we're in the bad place.
Michael: Jason figured it out? Jason? This is a real low point. Yeah, this one hurts.

• Permalink: Jason figured it out? Jason? This is a real low point. Yeah, this one hurts.
• Added: September 26, 2017

People are like nature's apps.

Eleanor

• Permalink: People are like nature's apps.
• Added: September 20, 2017

Can you imagine getting drunk before giving a big speech? Getting kicked out of your niece's christening and then, only later, once you've sobered up, realizing you don't even have a niece? It's like, who was that kid?

Eleanor

• Permalink: Can you imagine getting drunk before giving a big speech? Getting kicked out of your niece's...
• Added: September 20, 2017

There really is an afterlife. I can't wait to have breakfast with Kant, and lunch with Michel Foucault, and then have dinner with Kant again so we can talk about what came up at breakfast!

Chidi

• Permalink: There really is an afterlife. I can't wait to have breakfast with Kant, and lunch with Michel...
• Added: September 20, 2017

It's a rare occurrence, like a double rainbow, or someone on the internet saying, "You know what? You've convinced me I was wrong."

Michael

• Permalink: It's a rare occurrence, like a double rainbow, or someone on the internet saying, "You know...
• Added: September 20, 2017