The Last Man on Earth
Sundays 9:30 PMThe Last Man on Earth Season 2 Episode 5: "Crickets" Quotes
So I pulled a gun on him. You guys know I do that from time to time.
Phil
It's all taken care of! All the evidence is gone. If you took a bacon-sniffing dog out there, it wouldn't even notice. In fact, it'd probably take a nap because it was so bored.
Phil
Melissa: Gee, ya think? I mean, I've only seen her give you like a hundred eye rolls.
Carol: Thank you, I know! It's like, hi, would you like some butter with your eye rolls?
Melissa: I know! It's like, don't fill up on eye rolls, Erica, save room for dinner.
Carol: Ha! We have fun.
Has anybody ever noticed you can get salmonella from chicken but you can't get chickenmonella from salmon? Boom.
Phil
Here, cricket cricket. Don't you want to get turned into a disgusting meal by my wife?
Phil
Erica: Phil. Why don't you take that comment, put it inside a bottle, and shove it up your butt?
Phil 2: What?
Erica: And then take that bottle back out, put it inside a bigger bottle, and shove that up your butt too.
Erica: You don't think I see all the flirting you've been doing with Phil?
Carol: If anything I'm doing the opposite! I mean for Pete Sampras, look at this dumb outfit I borrowed from Melissa.
Erica: I don't know, you look fine to me.
Carol: This needs like a pineapple on it or a giraffe or children sliding down a rainbow. I mean, this is not me.
