The Last Man on Earth
Sundays 9:30 PMThe Last Man on Earth Quotes
I know what you did, Todd. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!
Carol
Todd: Today's probably not the best day.
Gail: And what is the best day to find out that your ex-boyfriend's doing the devil's work with the lady down the hall?
Phil: Todd and Gail are boning.
Carol: Cheese and rice!
Valhalla... honor... hero... Amen!
Phil
Phil Miller got knocked down. And this time... he did not get up again. We raise a whiskey drink. We raise a vodka drink. What a hero. And that is why today we send him off the only way that truly makes sense... a viking funeral.
Phil
Mike: I was always a chocolate banana man, myself.
Pat: Wow, Sigmund Freud, he'd have a field day with you, boy.
Mike: I bet he would.
Pat: 'Cuz, the banana is the rough shape of the male anatomy.
Mike: No, yeah, I got all that. Yeah. Made that connection.
Pat: And chocolate on it? On a banana?
Mike: No, I got that one, too. No, it was -- The joke was good as it was, man. Didn't need all that.
Ohhh, there's a very good chance he's going to kill and eat me.
Mike [to himself]
You know, sometimes I'll anchor offshore at night. Big cities -- Miami, New York, New Orleans. Not one light. Pitch black. Pitch black.
Pat
So, Pat, you always been a seamen? By that I mean a sailor, not, you know, sperm.
Mike
You know what else has a permanent hole in it? Your head! Get it together. You can't give up. You just came from outer space, you freakin' fart-face. Now wake up!
Young Phil
Oh farts, oh farts, oh farts, oh farts...
Mike
I miss you, Mike. You're such a good little sister.
Young Phil
