The Last Man on Earth
Sundays 9:30 PMThe Last Man on Earth Quotes
Mike: "RIP Spaceman. Cause of death: The 'goverment.'" Almost got it right.
Oh Jesus, you laid in something. It's like, virus.
Pat
Young Phil: You beefed it so hard.
Mike: YOU beefed it!
Pat: One time, I saw a bag of bones wearing a bikini.
Mike: I'm so sorry, that must have been awful.
Pat: Well, I ain't gonna lie to you, sight of a bikini still does it for me. Skin or no.
Mike: Yeah, I'm more of a skin guy, myself.
Pat: Different strokes.
This is the straw that broke the camel's back. The camel is dead and I ate it! Just like the bacon! Which is another thing I did.
Todd
Don't worry, Gordon, I'm not gonna come anywhere near those balls.
Phil
Melissa, you're finally opening up and I'm so proud of you. But I'm gonna need you to shut it right back down, lady. Phil needs us! So just box that up, we'll go save his life, and then we'll come back and dig into those delicious feelings. It's what I like to call an emotional doggy bag and they taste even better the next day.
Carol
Gail: Stop it, Tandy, I'm not a doctor.
Tandy: And the Wright brothers weren't pilots until they got into that plane, y'know? [chanting] Gail! Gail! Gail!
I'm not a friggin' doctor! I am just a chef from a three star restaurant in Wilmington, North Carolina, so shut your friggin' cakeholes!
Gail
Oh, farts.
Gail
Captain Mike Miller, signing off.
Mike
Todd, I know things haven't been great between us. We broke up because we're different. You're warm and caring and you see the world through rose-colored glasses. And me, I'm... I know I can be cold and negative and my glasses are basically crap-covered. But that's what made me fall in love with you.
Melissa
