Part of me thinks if you're getting your medical advice from a TV show, you deserve to die.


Is there a warrant out for your arrest? No one will notice. All white guys look the same.

I'm going to mix wine and ginger ale to make champagne.


I'm so proud of Ben. It's like I'm a stage mom, but I can have sex with the kid.

I already have TV experience. I was featured on Sports Center when I fell off the second deck at a Braves game.


I'll check that out, the minute I finish this tweet I'm reading.

Something more important than your mama... The woman who went to a junior high dance with you dressed up as ‘cousin Sirvi?'


The rehearsal dinner is amazing. I just had lasagna for the first time. Now I know what Garfield was on about.


I’m about to Mr. Robot this beeyotch.


We should have been practicing for weeks, and instead I let him watch that OJ documentary.

I was crying in the bathroom because I dropped my phone in the toilet again.

I want you to love me in the way that I can show on Instagram.

The Mindy Project Quotes

After four vodka sodas I realized, I had something to say.


Daniel Castellano, I'm the man that is going to take a person out of you. I don't take that responsibility lightly okay?