The Mysteries of Laura Season 1 Quotes
Billy: The only thing in his bag was a set of keys and some very kind bud.
Laura: Excuse me?
Jake: Marijuana.
Laura: Kind bud? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Jake: That's what the kids have always called it.
Laura: I knew that.
Jasper: I did not start that fire, I swear I'm innocent.
Jake: Of course you are! That's why you were doing wind-sprints across the roof.
Laura: Man child!
Max: You rang?
If Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray had an orgy at the craft store and posted photos online, pinterest is their beautiful love child.
Max
Laura: I can't back out. Half the school gave me the cold shoulder when I flaked on that Halloween thing.
Jake: We were busy with real police work. Nobodies going to blame us for that.
Laura: No one will blame you! Dad's get a free pass. No one will judge you if our boys are eating gluten or high fructose corn syrup or dirt.
You can't fix what's broken in our relationship with a pizza. Look if you really want to make it better between us, stop thinking of how to make yourself look good and start thinking about why I was so unhappy that I chose to become a single mother.
He busted his ass for you 80-90 hours a week in the kitchen. You find him like that and you just throw him in the trash. What's wrong with you?
Jake
I wasn't yelling! I was suggesting they don't eat gum off the sidewalk...loudly!
They're staging a sit-in, Dr. King style.
Alicia
Damn you're good!
Max
Guy has a record as long as Ariana Grande's extensions
Max
Tell 'em 1995 wants its slang back!
Billy
