Popular The Office Quotes
What are you guys talking about? I have a daughter, how can I be a virgin?
Toby
Dwight: Well well well. If it isn't Isabelle. What's a girl like you doing in a place like this.
Isabelle: A girl like me is why a guy like you comes to a place like this.
Dwight: Ooh. I love repartee.
Isabelle: Do you?
Dwight: Usually means there's a battle scene coming.
New York, as it turns out, is very expensive, and I ran out of money. I thought about selling a kidney, but Michael offered to get me a part-time job at corporate.
Pam
If Angela can get a gay man to marry her, maybe I could get a lesbian to marry me. That's hot.
Kevin
You know it's a myth women have to gain more than nine pounds in a pregnancy. Look at these actresses, some of them lose weight.
Ryan
What has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy!
Jim
In order to take down Dwight, I have to chip away at his ally, which, in this case, is Michael. Here's the good news. Every success I've ever had at my job or with the lady-folk has come from my ability to slowly and painfully wear someone down.
Andy
Michael: [on phone] NO! Oh, my God. Oh, No. That is so awful. That is the worst news. I have to go. I have to do a presentation. I'll talk to you... [hangs up] It is going to be hard for me to speak today. Because I just learned that my father has died... No, he didn't! He is alive. And this isn't even a cell phone. This is a calculator. But you bought it! And now you can't return it. Or can you? No you can't. [Karen raises her hand] Yes. Karen, do you need to go pump?
Karen: Not gonna have to do that, 'til after I have the baby.
Michael: [hands Ryan a soda] There you are, my friend.
Ryan: Oh, thanks, man.
Michael: Pamela.
Pam: Thanks, Michael.
Michael: Yep.
Pam and Jim are together. Ryan is visiting. Only thing that could make this day better is ice cream.
Michael
School Official: The issue with the watermark is very serious.
Jim: Absolutely.
School Official: We teach our students that character counts.
Jim: And you should.
School Official: But-
Andy: Pfft. You don't teach it well enough. One of your students is a bitch.
Jim: Andy... is having a real rough day today.
Andy: I want to take out an ad, in your yearbook. A full page, two words-
Jim: "Good luck."
Andy: That's not what I had in mind.
Dunder Mifflin Infinity represents a floor to ceiling streamlining of our business model. The center piece of the campaign is a new business-to-business website interface that will allow us to compete directly with big box chains.
Ryan
