It's not the KGB, but it's a start.

Dwight

No, I don't think he can make it as an actor, but he also can't make it as an employee in an office, so why not go nuts with it.

Oscar

You're too charactery to be a lead, and you're not fat enough to be a great character actor.

Kevin

Hey Andy, you're making the worst mistake of your life. You're not talented. Well...right back at ya Daryl.

Andy

Sense Billy says most students don't pay 150,000 dollars over 20 years to get their black belt.

Dwight

Oscar: Angela you still have your son.
Angela: I guess.

I've been trying to act and manage this branch. Half the time I don't know if I'm wearing my stage makeup or my work makeup.

Andy

Andy: What's the mouse's name?
Guy: It really doesn't make sense to name the mice. They're kind of like cannon fodder.

Phyllis: Her hair looks beautiful.
Andy: Yeah we get it Phyllis. She looks like a freakin' movie star!

Nothing to be alarmed about, it's just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer as a coworker.

Dwight

I wanted to be my generation's Lisa Loeb.

Andy

Our office has an unusually large number of unusually large people.

Oscar

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael