The Office Season 5 Quotes
Dwight: Are you socialist?
Michael: You know what? I don't want to get into this debate again. I enjoy IHOP.
Dwight: I'll have a cup of a coffee.
Michael: You will have pancakes and you'll like it.
Dwight: Okay, let's go over the plan again.
Michael: Alright, I am a local business owner. I need to buy paper. I find out everything about their prices and policies.
Dwight: Your fictitious name?
Michael: Michael Scarn.
Dwight: I am a paper salesman looking for a new job. I find out everything about their expenses and salaries.
Michael: Okay.
Dwight: Then we meet at the Denny's...
Michael: No.
Dwight: ...and then we compare notes.
Michael: No, no, I never said Denny's. IHOP.
Dwight: No! You know how I feel about IHOP.
Dwight: [riding in car with Michael] What if the owner of Prince Family Paper has a beautiful daughter and we have to seduce her to get the family secrets?
Michael: I will seduce her.
Dwight: No, I wanna seduce her.
Michael: No, I will seduce her.
Dwight: Please Michael, please.
Michael: No, I got it.
Dwight: You'll fall in love with her.
Michael: Yeah, so what if I did? That would take precedence and I would expect your support.
Meredith: She's got mean eyes.
Pam: Have you seen her with her bangs?
Kevin: She looks like a monster.
Jim: Guys, she is a beautiful movie star, so maybe we should just go to work.
Meredith: She is an amazing actress.
Kevin: That is not the question.
Phyllis: She's not hot.
Kevin: Yeah, thank you Phyllis.
Jim: Okay, okay, okay. Why don't we just put this to a vote, and then we'll be done with it.
Angela: I'm not voting.
Jim: No one cares.
Phyllis: You've got no taste Stanley Hudson.
Stanley: Oh, I do.
Andy: What are you guys talking about?
Stanley: Some actress, whether she's hot.
Andy: Who is the gal in question?
Phyllis: Hillary Swank.
Creed: Ah, Hillary Swank.
David: There is a small company there, Prince Paper. I can't get a report on it because it's not a public company. But we have been talking about going after their market, so I was hoping you could do some fact finding for me.
Michael: Okay.
David: I'll fax over some of the things we're looking for.
Michael: Fax, why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?
David: Look, his is important, Michael.
Michael: Oh, well, then, email it to me.
Michael: What you talking bout, Wallace?
David: Hi, Michael how are you?
Michael: Hi, I am well, how are you?
David: So listen, as you know, we haven't yet filled the regional supervisor job.
Michael: Oh, have you not?
David: Correct. And I was wondering if I could get you to do some of the field work that would normally go to the supervisor. There is an area from Carbondale to Marshbrook, where we have never done any business.
Michael: Yeah.
Dwight: What's this?
Jim: Looks like a red wire.
Dwight: Hmm. It wasn't here before.
Jim: Well it's a computer Dwight, computers have wires.
Dwight: Yours doesn't.
Jim: Doesn't it?
Dwight: No, it's going in a different direction then the other wires.
Wow, what a day! Haha! I thought I was gong to get chewed out, but, hold on! Here's an attaboy for ya! What? Rollercoaster ride! Rollercoaster! It just goes to show, you leave Scranton, exciting things can happen.
Michael
Andy: I don't get it! How can she be sleeping with you this whole time and only sleep with me twice?
Dwight: What?
Andy: What!
Dwight: She's sleeping with you?
Andy: I'm her fiance.
Dwight: She said she was only sleeping with me.
Dwight: Oh, how much is this gonna cost? [hits car with bike chain] Oh! What? Trust fund will take care of that! [hits car again]
Andy: What did you say? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.
Dwight: I sa- [Andy honks horn]
Andy: What? You stupid idiot! You're like, you're like a Sasquatch! You live in the woods...
Dwight: Sasquatches are the strongest animal on the planet! So fine, call me a Sasquatch!
Jim: Dwight! Are your legs broken?
Dwight: No. My right one's falling asleep a little bit.
Jim: Andy, are you all right?
Andy: Go away, Tuna! I'm winning this!
