Keyali: This has to be the most insane thing that's ever happened on this ship.
LaMarr: One time I almost died because I humped a statue.
Malloy: Isaac once cut my leg off.
LaMarr: The Captain and Commander made up in a zoo.
Malloy: And Bortus almost crashed the ship because of porn.
Keyali: I see.

I don't know. The galaxy is full of so many unhappy people. Why ignore something good?

Keyali

Isaac: I was merely attempting to provide Dr. Finn with the most dutifully calibrated coital experience.
Malloy: No. Yeah, that's what women want -- dutiful coitus.

Y'know, there's something seriously wrong with all of us when the most stable relationship on the Orville is Isaac's.

Malloy

Grayson: Malloy, don't be cocky. They have to hit us for the test to work.
Malloy: Yes, sir. Dumbing it down.

Malloy: When Moclans break up, is there, like, all that stabbing like with the divorce?
Bortus: No, each Moclan extracts a tooth and leaves it with his former mate.
Malloy: Yeah, I knew it had to be something like that.

Topa: What is a relationship?
Bortus: It is what comes before the egg.

Mercer: There's no rule book for this one. You just have to take everything you know about her, every bit of data, and do something you've never done.
Isaac: What is that?
Mercer: Be creative.

Mercer: She's gotten under your skin.
Isaac: I do not have skin.
Mercer: Your various programs are used to her and, it turns out, she's not so easy to just... delete.

We are, without a doubt, the weirdest ship in the fleet.

Malloy

It's the best it's ever been for me. And maybe it's okay it doesn't look like I thought it would. Maybe it's okay that it looks like a woman and a vacuum cleaner.

Dr. Finn

The moment he transformed, it was one of the most moving experiences I ever had. A machine who knows nothing of love, only logic, figured out a way to say,'I'm trying. Let me try.'

Dr. Finn

The Orville Quotes

Mercer: I know Gordon has his issues but we all know that there's nobody that can drive a starship like him.
Admiral: Didn't he once draw a penis on the main viewing screen of Outpost T-85?
Mercer: He's drawn a lot of penises on a lot of things.

Mercer: I've had some personal stuff that's been going on... It's not really worth going into... Can I have one of these mints?
Admiral: Those are marbles.