The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 5 Episode 17: "Bart Gets an Elephant" Quotes
Lisa: You're all forgetting the most important thing! Which is that it's wrong to imprison an animal!
Homer: Lisa, go to your room.
(Sinking in a tar pit) Nah, that's ok. I'm pretty sure I can struggle my way out. First I'll just reach in and pull my legs out, then I'll pull my arms out with my teeth.
Homer
Lisa: Mr. Blackheart, are you an ivory dealer?
Mr. Blackheart: Well, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale hunter, seal clubber, president of the fox network. And, like most people, yeah I've dealt a little ivory.
Bart: (to Lisa) Uh, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing there.
Homer: Push her down, son.
Bart: KBBL is going to give me something stupid!
KBBL DJ: Well, hot dog! We have a wiener!
Heh, heh. Shazzam.
Homer
(Homer hits a steel deer statue with his car)
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer!
Chief Wiggum: Help! Help us! They stole our uniforms guns and tazers!
Snake: (in a police uniform) Ohhhhh, Fry piggy. (charges tazer)
Chief Wiggum: No, no -- no don't -- aargh! Aargh! A little to the left... aah, that's the stuff.
I'm tired. I'm hungry. Can't we just get a new house?
Grampa: Hey, they're playing the elephant song.
Jasper: I love that. Reminds me of elephants.
Marge: (Talking about Stampy) Gosh, I thought he'd be happier in his true habitat.
Warden: Oh, I think he is.
Marge: Then why is he attacking all those other elephants?
Warden: Well, animals are not like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life, or have been mistreated. But, like people, some of them are just jerks--Stop that, Mr. Simpson.
(The camera pans to show Homer repeatedly head butting the warden.)
I only have two questions... how much and give it to me.
Homer
