Bart: Mom, Dad, I saw Sideshow Bob and he threatened to kill me!
Homer: Bart, don't interrupt!
Marge: Homer, this is serious!
Homer: Oh, it is not.

• Permalink: Mom, Dad, I saw Sideshow Bob and he threatened to kill me! Bar...
• Added: August 06, 2010

I'll be Gus, the lovable chimney-sweep. Clean as a whistle, sharp as a thistle, best in all Westminster.

Bart

• Permalink: I'll be Gus, the lovable chimney-sweep. Clean as a whistle, shar...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Bart: Grampa, Matlock's not real.
Grampa: Neither are my teeth, but I can still eat corn on the cob, if someone cuts it off and smushes it into a fine paste. Now that's good eatin'!

• Permalink: Grampa, Matlock's not real. Neither are my teeth, but I can st...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Oh my God! Someone's trying to kill me!! Oh, wait, it's for Bart.

Homer

• Permalink: Oh my God! Someone's trying to kill me!! Oh, wait, it's for Bart...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Homer: If you don't mind we're trying to watch the mov...
Guy on Movie: Hey Merv, help me get my head outta this toilet!
Homer: (erruption of laughter)

• Permalink: If you don't mind we're trying to watch the mov... Hey Merv, h...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our Honeymoon!
Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now! Be honest.... (Patty's hand goes up)
Patty: Aaah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.

• Permalink: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our Honeymoon! How many peopl...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Sideshow Bob has no decency, he called me, Chief Piggum! (everybody laughs) Oh ah, now I get it! Haha, that's good!

Chief Wiggum

• Permalink: Sideshow Bob has no decency, he called me, Chief Piggum! Oh ah,...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Marge: Bart... I'm going to get you..... some ice cream at the store since I'm saving so much money on Diet Cola!
Ned: Say your prayers, Simpson... Because the schools can't force you like they should!... Maude, these new finger razors make hedge trimming as much fun as sitting through church!
Edna: You're going to be my murder victim... BART! In our school production of Lizzy Borden, starring Martin Prince as Lizzy!
Martin: Forty whacks with a wet noodle, Bart!

• Permalink: Bart... I'm going to get you..... some ice cream at the store si...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Milhouse: I checked around... the girls are calling you Fatty Fat Fat Fat and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants. But, nobody's trying to kill ya.
Bart: Aaah... that's good.
Nelson: pulls down pants
Group Of Girls: Fatty fat fat fat, fatty fatty fat fat!

• Permalink: I checked around... the girls are calling you Fatty Fat Fat Fat ...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Homer: Hey kids, wanna drive through that cactus patch?
Bart: Yeah!
Lisa: Yeah!
Sideshow Bob: (from under the car) No!
Homer: Well, two against one.

• Permalink: Hey kids, wanna drive through that cactus patch? Yeah! Yeah!...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Hey, that's some outfit. It makes you look like a homosexual. (Audience boos) Maybe you all are homosexuals too!

McBain

• Permalink: Hey, that's some outfit. It makes you look like a homosexual. M...
• Added: August 06, 2010

Bart: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the chief here! Bake him away, toys.
Lou: What'd you say, chief?
Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid said.

• Permalink: Take him away, boys. Hey, I'm the chief here! Bake him away, t...
• Added: August 06, 2010