The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Episode 5: "Homer Defined" Quotes
Mr. Burns: So, what did you do this weekend, Smithers?
Smithers: Well, I caught up on my laundry, wrote a letter to my mother, oh, here a kicker, and I took Hercules out to be clipped.
Mr. Burns: Who the devil is Hercules?
Smithers: Oh, he's my Yorkshire terrier, sir. He's kind of tiny, so you know, it's a joke. Here's a picture of Herky. (shows a wallet sized photo of Hercules)
Mr. Burns: Ugh. Well, Smithers, don't you know how to paint the town red!
Homer: Okay. Okay, think back to your training! (he thinks)
Trainer: Now, Homer, this may very well save your life one-day. This... Homer?
(We see Homer is playing with a Rubik's cube.)
Homer: Yeah?
Trainer: Please, pay attention. This button here controls the emergency override circuit. In the event of a meltdown, push this button and only this button.
Homer: Ooh, a side!
Trainer: Simpson!
Homer: What?
Trainer: You see which button I'm pushing?
Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Push the button. Got it. Stupid cube, this is all your fault.
Homer: What's your problem, boy?
Bart: I had a fight with Milhouse.
Homer: That four eyes with the big nose, you don't need friends like that.
Bye little dudes. Don't learn anything I wouldn't learn!
Otto
Eenie meenie miney mo. Is Homer a hero? The answer is no.
Kent Brockman
Barney: I had to give a speech once. I was pretty nervous, so I used a little trick. I picture everyone in their underwear. The judge, the jury, my lawyer, everybody.
Homer: Did it work?
Barney: I'm a free man, ain't I?
Yeah, you know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
Milhouse: Bart, my mom won't let me be your friend any more. That's why you couldn't come to the party.
Bart: What's she got against me?
Milhouse: She says you're a bad influence.
Bart: Bad influence, my ass.
