The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 4 Episode 15: "I Love Lisa" Quotes
Ralph: My parents won't let me use scissors.
Miss Hoover: The children have a right to laugh at you, Ralph. These things couldn't cut butter. Now, take out your red crayons.
Ralph: Miss Hoover. I don't have a red crayon.
Miss Hoover: Why not?
Ralph: I ate it.
Moe: (Reads his valentine) "To Moe. From your secret admirer."
Barney: Yoo Hooooo!
Moe: Oh God, no!
(Barney blows a kiss and belches)
Grampa: Bah, this is just another Hallmark holiday cooked up to sell cards.
Jasper: Aww... a Valentine from my daughter!
Abe: Can I have the envelope?
Cool, I broke his brain.
Bart
Homer: I've heard 'em all. I like you as a friend... I think we should see other people... I no speak English...
Lisa: I get the idea.
Homer: I'm married to the sea... I don't want to kill you, but I will.
I Choo-Choo-Choose you.
Ralph
Mediocre Presidents Song
Kids: We are the mediocre presidents.
You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents!
There's Taylor, there's Tyler, there's Fillmore and there's Hayes.
There's William Henry Harrison,
Harrison: I died in thirty days!
Kids: We... are... the... adequate, forgettable, occasionally regrettable, caretaker presidents of the U-S-A!
Bart: I'll go, disguised as you.
Lisa: What if he wants to hold hands?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if he wants a kiss?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Lisa: What if he
Bart: You don't want to know how far I'll go.
