Bart: I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me, I am so great!
Marge: Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Could you please be quiet?
Bart: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quie --
Marge: Bart, get out!

• Permalink: I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me, I am so great!...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Ned: If you need anything just give a whistle.
Homer: I could use a TV tray.
Ned: Well, gee...
Homer: What?
Ned: Uh, I just this minute bought it at the hardware...
Homer: You said "anything".
Ned: Heh, sure, you can borrow it for...a little while.
--
Homer: And that little while is now eight years and counting.

• Permalink: If you need anything just give a whistle. I could use a TV tra...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Bart: Hey Homer ,this house sucks!
Homer: Bart, I told you not to use that word. Call me daddy!

• Permalink: Hey Homer ,this house sucks! Bart, I told you not to use that ...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Homer: Dad, I have a problem.
Grampa: Why did you come to me? I don't know nothin'. I used to get by on my looks. Now they're gone... withered away like an old piece of fruit. (Sobs)
Homer: Are you done?
Grampa: No, not yet! I was voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York!
Homer: Dad, I don't need advice! I need 15,000 dollars to buy a home!
Grampa: Oh, well. All I own is this house, that I built with my own two hands!
Homer: You didn't build this house! You won it on a crooked 50's game show!
Grampa: I ratted on everybody and got off scott free!

• Permalink: Dad, I have a problem. Why did you come to me? I don't know n...
• Added: February 24, 2010

(holding baby Lisa) Hi-dee-ho, Simpson. Your son shoved this through our doggy door. And since we're returning your second-born, do you think you could see your way to returning my TV tr--
(Homer takes Lisa and slams the door in Flanders' face)

Flanders

• Permalink: Hi-dee-ho, Simpson. Your son shoved this through our doggy door....
• Added: February 24, 2010

According to Fretful Mother magazine, if Maggie doesn't talk by age one, we should consider a corrective tongue-extender.

Marge

• Permalink: According to Fretful Mother magazine, if Maggie doesn't talk by ...
• Added: February 24, 2010

I think he's a clown. He he he he.

</i> Homer

• Permalink: I think he's a clown. He he he he.
• Added: February 24, 2010

Bart: Homer!
Homer: No, Bart. Homer is what grownups call me. Call me Daddy.
Bart: Homer.
Homer: Daddy.
Bart: Homer.
Homer: Daddy.
Bart: DadaDomer.
Homer: Why, you little?!

• Permalink: Homer! No, Bart. Homer is what grownups call me. Call me Daddy...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Homer: You know Maggie, the sooner kids talk the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word.
Maggie: Daddy.

• Permalink: You know Maggie, the sooner kids talk the sooner they talk back....
• Added: February 24, 2010

Bart: I was sitting there!
Lisa: I don't see your name on it!
Bart: It's right there!
Marge: Bart, don't write on the rug.

• Permalink: I was sitting there! I don't see your name on it! It's right...
• Added: February 24, 2010

I've got some joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. (Where?) Down in my heart to stay! And if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack. (Ouch!) Sit on a tack. (Ouch!)

Rod/Todd

• Permalink: I've got some joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Down in my h...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Can't sleep, clown'll eat me!

Bart

• Permalink: Can't sleep, clown'll eat me!
• Added: February 24, 2010