Barney: (To Patty) My friend and I have a bet. Are you Mary Tyler Moore?
(Patty sprays mace in Barney's eyes.)
Barney: Ow! Wow, it really is you!

Homer: (reading) No matter what you tell your child to do, you will always do the opposite, huh?
Homer's Brain: Don't you get it? You've got to use reverse psychology!
Homer: That sounds too complicated!
Homer's Brain: OK, don't use reverse psychology!
Homer: All right, I will!

The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 9 Quotes

Martin: What is the matter with you?
Bart: It's my dad. Lying there on the couch, drinking a beer, staring at the TV... I've never seen him like that.

Dad, I don't know how to say this. I don't want to drive your car. It's slow, it's ugly; it handles like a shopping cart.