Popular Two and a Half Men Quotes
I miss the 80's but you don't see me snorting blow of a DeLorean.
Berta
Lyndsay: It's like the horse head scene in The Godfather.
Alan: Could be worse. Could be the prom scene from Carrie.
Alan: You stole drugs from your son?
Lyndsay: It's only fair, he stole my youth.
Prostitue: What kind of sex does charlie want?
Charlie: Oh i get to choose? It's kind of like Baskin Robbins. You know if they charged $1,000 a scoop.
Prostitute: What's my role in this?
Charlie: You don't think I'm a good role model, yet paradoxically you want to have kids with me.
Alan: You might want to eat something so when you throw up later, it won't just be alcohol and stomach juice.
Charlie: Way ahead of you. (holds up drink) I call it an Egg McBorboun.
Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather get a maple syrup enema and sit on an ant pile.
Charlie
Alan: My life isn't over you know.
Jake: Okay.
Alan: What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.
Jake: Then you must be like the hulk.
Alan: Let me tell you something young man, chapter two of your father's story hasn't been written.
Jake: Is chapter one, "I crapped my pants?"
Man, If I'd known you liked the whacky weed, I wouldn't have spent the last eight years getting baked under the deck. You know, when I was on break.
Berta
Jake: I like German cars.
Charlie: Well if keep your nose clean and work hard, you may be able to park them for a living.
Alan: ...and maybe Saturday, a date.
Charlie: You're calling those magazines dates now?
