You're not Calvin Harris.

Lisa

Anybody can push play on a laptop, you idiot! It's not even connected to anything.

Jax

Maybe one of the reasons that Jax doesn't like James is because he feels like he's looking at himself 10 years ago and he doesn't like what he sees.

Tom Sandoval

I don't feel like I've ever really been able to articulate clearly or express to her how much I die inside when she goes to the dark side. It kills the Schwartz.

Tom Schwartz

I got a marble trash can, and now it's too heavy for me to empty the trash.

Stassi

I played a little Beyonce and I wound up with a girlfriend.

James

Misery loves company, but it's really hard to find company when all your friends are so fucking happy.

Stassi

Ass steaks or no ass steaks, I liked it.

Jax

In my defense, people see me winning right now and they don't like it.

James

I don't even look at Jax anymore like an ex-boyfriend. I look at him like an ape... with a really cool girlfriend.

Stassi

I love dogs, and I think everybody knows how I feel about bitches. And here comes a couple more.

Lisa

I don't want to sound cocky, but I'm young, I'm good looking, I'm a DJ in Los Angeles. I'm fuckng killing the game.

James

Vanderpump Rules Quotes

You were my girlfriend, but you were also my enemy,

Tom [to Kristen]

I’ve never had a girl say ‘no’ to me before.

Jax