It's just beer. Did you guys go to a bar that night... how much did you drink?

Nikolai

You're one of the rare couples that have both have breast augmentations.

Tom Schwartz

Raquel and I have a lot in common... we both like... to... eat food.

James

I feel like I need one of those push-cards. 5 surgeries and get the 6th one free.

Jax

Jax: I feel like I just sweated out all of that vodka.
Kristen: I'm going to go home and drink vodka.

My relationship with Jax is complicated. Jax and I are kind of like step-brother and step-sister... who may have slept together twice.

Kristen

Stassi: I think Kristen is excited about going to Montauk, but I know Kristen has no idea what Montauk is.
Kristen: Literally the only thing I know about the Hamptons is Puffy Daddy and Bethenny Frankel.

It's like folding SUR napkins all over again,

Kristen

It's $18.50? That is so much money... for a rag.

Stassi

Why am I paying these people? They should be paying me for therapy.

Lisa

If I never would have done all of that douchebagging, I wouldn't be who I am today.

Jax

When it comes to this group, I can predict the future like Gandhi. Did Gandhi predict the future? Who is Gandhi?

Jax

Vanderpump Rules Quotes

You were my girlfriend, but you were also my enemy,

Tom [to Kristen]

I’ve never had a girl say ‘no’ to me before.

Jax