Venture Brothers
Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon NetworkPopular Venture Brothers Quotes
Dr. Orpheus: She must be in her fourties...
The Master: Really Orpheus? Tell it to the heiny, because she thinks it's still 1992.
Why don't you leave me alone so I can jump rope naked in front a mirror in your ex-wife's body?
The Master
The Master: Did you know he's uncircumcised? Yeah, Mr. Baldie will forever wear his turtleneck.
Triana: That's so gross! Do I have to break his heart?
The Master: No, but you do have to clean his penis with a Q-Tip.
Henchmen 24: Ask me any question.
Henchmen 21: Okay, what's the meaning of life?
Henchmen 24: The color twelve.
Henchmen 21: Really?
Henchmen 24: No, idiot, ask me something less Hitchhiker's Guide, dork.
Henchman 21: Do we have souls?
Henchman 24: Yes, but they're not quite souls, but in Earth's general idea, everything has a soul.
Henchman 21: Crap, so I guess we should become vegetarian.
Henchman 24: No, like everything living has a soul, even spinach. You can't win.
Henchman 21: So that's a problem.
Henchman 24: Here's something. You know how people cry about aborting babies because of their soul? Turns out you don't get a soul until you're like one.
Henchman 21: So, weird, one. Really?
Henchman 24: Or maybe six months. I forget. Either way, you're just this little crying, pooing monster blob until you get your soul.
Brock: Uh, geez, this place reeks. What's this guy doing in there?
ShoreLeave: The guy is Peter Schumpmaker. Lord knows what a schump is, but you can bet your bippy his ancestors made them. What he's doing is far worse than crafting fine shumps
The Monarch: Sweet! So let's go with my plan to cover his compound in sticky hot sugar! Leaving him and his family to be devoured by ants! And those little ones...
Henchman 21: You mean gnats?
The Monarch: No.
Henchman 21: Chiggers?
The Monarch: Chiggers!
Monstroso: No, that plan was stupid. My plan is clean, elegant, classic. We take him down as one would take down a Mafia don. Cigar?
The Monarch: No! So then we're going with my plan to just put him in a bag and beat him with a rake?
Monstroso: No, that was also stupid.
Monstroso! That's what this is about? He's king of the double cross. I mean, think about it. He's a lawyer and a super villain. That's like a shark with a grenade launcher on his head.
Dr. Girlfriend
Brock: We had to make sacrifices.
Dr. Venture: Like covering yourselves in rotten eggs. Do you know how bad you smell?
Brock: No, ass! Like living next to the boys for a year and not being able to tell them that they're safe. That kinda sacrifice!
Hunter: I had my pud removed, then reattached.
ShoreLeave: I pretended I became a religious fanatic.
Sky Pilot: I pretended to be in love with ShoreLeave.
ShoreLeave: Oh! And I pretended I liked having sex with him every night.
I'm out of gun food.
Hank
Hatred: There just wasn't anymore they could have done.
Dean: They could have tried.
Hatred: I know, but he didn't have any insurance and they wouldn't accept my diner's club card.
they're henchmen, you don't explain to to them. They do your bidding. When you say jump, they say, "what shark?"
Monarch
