Kevin: I should tell you, Toni. It’s not easy for me to say this, but I’m filing for primary custody of Baby Anthony.
Toni: Don’t! Kevin, please don’t do this.

Kevin: Thank you so much for inviting me, Hermione.
Hermione: Oh, not at all, Kevin! I know you’re a superfan. And this is going to be an extra special episode of reality television. All about how Veronica and I are dealing with the emotional fallout of Hiram’s tragic death.
Veronica: Wait, is that what we’re doing here?!
Hermione: Don’t worry, Honey. I’ll guide you through it.

Mr. Cypher: Hey, superstar! How’s it all feeling?
Kevin: If this is what my life would like from now on, I’m all in.
[Mr. Cypher brings out the deal]
Mr. Cypher: Read it over if you like. Essentially, it’s all…
Kevin: Yeah, no, we’re all good!
[Kevin signs the deal]
Kevin: I’ll catch you later. Cool?
[Kevin pats Mr. Cypher’s shoulder and leaves]

This award is a painful reminder of all that I haven’t accomplished. Writing, performing, directing … instead, I’m in Riverdale. Still cruising the woods. Unlucky in love. Being named Teacher of the Year at a dying high school. Okay, this can’t be my life! It’s just can’t be!

Kevin

Archie: So, I’m looking for a few good men.
Kevin: Story of my life!

David: What is this?
Betty: The birth of a serial killer. The Black Hood, as a little boy.
David: Is that really him? The Black Hood?
Betty: Yeah, that’s my dad.
Kevin: [Whispers] This is insane.

Terry: You’ve been a naughty boy, Kevin.
Kevin: Terry?
Terry: You lied to me. You weren’t getting out of the tickle business; you were setting up your own shop.
Kevin: We don’t want to make trouble.
Terry: You already did.

Kevin: What’s up, Riverdale?! Are you trying to tear me down?
Betty: That’s … wait… that’s not…
Kevin: Well, sorry, I’m the new Berlin Wall, baby. Now get your a**** to the music room!

Fangs: Kevin…
Kevin: [Sighs] Now is not a good time, Fangs. I’m waiting for my Grindr date.

Kevin: So, we’re not bailing on your hot brother’s FBI class? I thought based on what happened to Caramel…
Betty: That was before I got privileged information that made me realized we don’t actually know anything about Charles. Forget “Is Charles is gay or straight?” I’m interested in: “Is if he’s a serial killer or not?”

Casey Cott Quotes

Kevin: Is it true what they say about your dad?
Veronica: That he's the devil incarnate? I stand by my father. Does everyone here know?
[Awkward silence]
Veronica: Wonderful! Ten minutes in and I'm already the "Blue Jasmine" of Riverdale High.

Kevin: Oh my God!
Betty: What?
Kevin: Game changer - Archie got hot! He's got abs now. Six more reasons for you to take that ginger bull by the horns tonight.