Maya: So Carina moved in. This morning, she made me French toast, and I know, I known how nice, what a lovely gesture. My super, super hot Italian girlfriend got up early to make me this gourmet breakfast, and I sat there nearly breaking out in hives because it was so, so nice. Too nice. I kept looking around at my apartment at her things on my bookshelves, and her vagina art…
Andy: Vagina art?
Maya: And her bras drying in my bathroom, and I’m like, ‘Is this my life now?’ I mean I’m allergic to monogamy, and I moved in with my girlfriend during a pandemic, and there’s something wrong with me because she’s perfect. And I want to be with her, and I want to live with her, but it’s like my body has a security system that goes off at all the wrong times. It’s like my wiring is faulty, or maybe Carina is light and lovely, and I’m not. I’m dark as hell and messy, and I just need to be able to call my equally dark and messy best friend when I am freaking out over vagina art and French toast, and I can’t.
Andy: You can call me.
Maya: Can I? I mean your entire world crumbled a few weeks ago, and I heard about it from Gibson.