Charlie: You know your uncle Charlie wrote that song.
Jake: No lie.
Charlie: Kid, if I was going to lie to you, I would have said I wrote "Stairway to Heaven"


Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
Show Comments
Characters:
Charlie Harper, Jake Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
Added by:
Added:

Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Well, Alan, there's not much to say. I make a lot of money for doing very little work. I sleep with beautiful women who don't ask about my feelings. I drive a Jag, I live at the beach... and sometimes in the middle of the day, for no reason at all, I like to make myself a big pitcher of margaritas and take a nap out on the sundeck

Charlie

Jake: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink?
Charlie: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass."
Charlie: Tell you what. Here's a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch