Californication Quotes

Stu: Dead monkeys and autoerotic asphyxiation? That’s my cue.

Marci: What? I’m not good enough to get knocked up by god? Fuck you! Some friend you are. Charlie: That monkey was a deviant and a cock…

Marci: The rabbit done died.

Jonathan Kasdan: You smell like cigarettes, champagne and cool ranch Doritos.

Hank: Are you guys really sisters or is this kind of like some white stripes deal?

Marci: Let’s get this golden shower started.

Zig: Not you Corrine, you give lousy head. You’re timid and you lack focus. We need to get you some Ritalin.

Karen: Let’s go get you a pregnancy test. Marci: And some snacks?

Zig: Of course I haven’t had an erection in the past decade but that’s another story, but that doesn’t stop me from giving face rides to…

Hank: I got a date with my dong and some hotel pornography, the good stuff too, penetration and everything.